Technical Difficulties

My home computer broke down.  A tech is coming out this week.  If this is an easy fix, then should be back up and running soon.  If it's a more serious problem, then... well, we'll see.

My Coldrun Fitness posts will simply be delayed until I get computer access, so probably will go up a day or two after I've completed that day of eating and exercise.

The Final Fantasy playthrough will depend.  My working plan depends on the scenarios I face:

1) If the computer is back up quickly, I'll be back to it!

2) If the computer is back up quickly but I have to replace a hard drive, I'll take a break from posting as I replay FF8 to get back to where I left off.  (Though it's Steam, so maybe it saves my progress to the cloud.  Dunno.)

3) If the computer is down for the long haul (~1.5-2 months?) and I need a new one, I may do a
replay of one of my prior FF games on mobile, writing up some of the differences I see, thoughts on replay, etc.

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Anyway, thanks for your patience and your readership.  Hopefully I'll get this cleared up soon.

FFVIII – Part 58: Knightfall

Summary: Quistis, Squall, and Rinoa infiltrate the Galbadia Garden. They confront Edea and Seifer. They defeat them. Then things happen.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 3

Around 8:30pm, felt very hungry.  Compromised with myself.  Didn't binge.  Had a small cup of Special K, adding on about 100 cal.

Wildstar - Level 15: Mining the Godwood

Summary: The competing tactics of the Mordesh and Aurin.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 2

Down to 2,500 today.  Happy about it. 

I ate a Snickers mid-morning because I was hungry.  For tomorrow, I'll try spacing things out a bit better and not eating between breakfast and lunch.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 1: Back to Basics

I've continually spiraled down.  My solutions have become more and more restrictive and convoluted, solutions which I've ignored and put off.  It's a nasty cycle and I want it to stop.

Last week, I created an elaborate new plan to "fix" different parts of my life.  I wrote about 20-25 pages of plans and goals and tracking and milestones and tasks.  I felt excited!  I had a clear and elaborate plan to execute.  The next day, my task list had 16 items.  I did 8 of them by mid-afternoon and just felt drained.  Exhausted. "I have to do another day of this?  Week?  Year?"  I responded by binging again that evening.

That was the last straw.  More after the jump.

FFVIII – Part 57: Clash of the Gardens

Summary: Open war between the Balamb and Galbadia Gardens.

Wildstar - Level 14: A Mind Divided

Summary: Met the Caretaker - both aspects - and took out some Dominion intelligence.

[Pace note: levels are taking longer as more stuff unlocks, so I'll be releasing these on a Tuesday/Thursday (and occasionally Saturday) schedule instead of Monday/Wednesday/Friday.]

FFVIII – Part 56: Orphans

Summary: Where I find myself unable to remotely begin to even. The backstory short-circuited me.

FFVIII – Part 55: RAGE

Summary: Squall, Zell, and Rinoa dock in Galbadian-occupied Balamb. Drive out some familiar faces in the Galbadian captain and commander.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 21

Yesterday morning started off well, then binged.  Found myself with lots of time on my hands (on vacation this week) and didn't refill my to-do list.  Got restless, antsy, overate.

Made it three days without a binge.  Let's see I can hit four.

FFVIII – Part 54: Musical Interlude

Summary: Fun musical interlude. Wonderfully awkward/honest conversation between Rinoa and Squall.

Wildstar - Level 13: Trade Kills

Summary: A new matria is crowned in Sylvan Glade.  Robot taxi drivers.  OVERWHELMED BY TRADESKILLS.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 19

Good day.  Ate well and walked.

FFVIII – Part 53: Cincinnatus

Summary: Two steps forward for Squall’s development, three steps back for Irvine’s. Cid makes his move against Edea.

Wildstar - Level 12: Trip Hop

Summary: Helped a village of some drug-addled, bizarre, adorable, (and maybe a little bit racist?) bunnies.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 18

Solid day.  Today and yesterday, I planned my meals out in advance.  It helped. 

FFVIII – Part 52: Eventful Horizon

Summary: Lots of Triple Triad. Learning the philosophy of Fisherman’s Horizon and seeing it tested by a Galbadian attack. A happy reunion.

FFVIII – Part 51: Gone Fishin’

Summary: The Garden crashes into Fisherman’s Horizon. I explore the town.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 17

Terrible week.  A funk I had a really tough time getting out of.  Constant binging, and weight around 247 lbs.

Spent the last two days re-evaluating where I go from here - not just with fitness, but with a lot of areas of my life that aren't in a good place right now.

Feeling optimistic, and moving forward.  2,400 calories/day for now.

Wildstar - Level 11: Forlla in Wonderland

Summary: Questing around the strange and gorgeous Celestion.

[note: already posted this, but accidentally reverted to an earlier draft.  Grr.

FFVIII – Part 50: Finals Week (11-14ish)

[NOTE: THIS IS AN EARLIER SECTION WHICH I'D FORGOTTEN TO POST.  IT SHOULD'VE GONE UP BEFORE PART 51, "GONE FISHIN'."  THANKS FOR THE CATCH, TDM!]

Summary: This’ll be my last of these exam sessions for the moment. Getting to the point where it’s more guess and check than experience, which seems to go against the spirit of the tests. Also just feel like moving on.

Wildstar - Level 10: They Came from Fragment Zero!

Summary: Huge session.  A trip to the glorious alien-infested asteroid of FRAGMENT ZERO!!!  Tons of new mechanics and abilities and goodies.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 10

Heavy binge yesterday.  I was unfocused and restless all day, and in the afternoon just gave up entirely.  Didn't even track what I ate, but wouldn't be surprised if it were around 4,000 calories total for the day.

Really resisting hard the urge to try fasting or something today.  Just try to get back to normalcy, Coldrun.  A bit less today maybe, but don't restart the cycle.  Learn from last time.

FFVIII – Part 49: Finals Week (7-10)

Summary: The next four tests. I get excited about scaling.

Wildstar - Level 9: Through the Woods

Summary: Finished up in Emberwood and moved onto Woodhaven and Cursewood.  Some new types of soldier path missions. 

Coldrun Fitness - Day 8

I'm pretty happy with the lost weight this week, but not going wild since I know binges caused last week's weight to be artificially high.  Will try again to stick to around 2,400 cal/day this week.

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End of week #1 weight: 241.4 lbs 
Starting weight: 246.4 lbs

Coldrun Fitness - Day 7

Ended the first week of this reset strong.  I'm looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in.  Haven't felt that in a while.

FFVIII – Part 48: Finals Week

Summary: Rinoa and Squall talk briefly and prepare to go for a walk, but most of this time is spent diving into FFVIII mechanics through tests. This is likely the first of a few such mechanic-focused sessions.

FFVIII – Part 47: Family Matters

Summary: Recovery at B-Garden, half-answers from Cid, encounter with Galbadian sailors. Ellone in the present. A web of relationships unfolds before me, though I have only a vague idea of who is connected to whom.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 6

8:20am: I overate yesterday, though not a no-holds-barred binge.  Thought about trying to cut back massively today, aiming for 1,700 calories instead of 2,400.  Then I remembered the core lesson of last month: the most common binge trigger for me is pre-emptive restriction.

Still aiming today for 2,400 calories.  If I get close to the end of the day and I feel that going down to 2,000-2,300 calories is within striking range, I'll try that.

6:00pm: Finished.  Over the calorie count, but not by much.  Great walk.  Pretty good day.

10:30pm: This has been a danger zone for me, and as I'm hungry again, it's a danger zone for me now.  Instead of eating, I'm going to brush, floss, rinse.  Hopefully that'll signal to my body that I'm done eating for the day, even if I stay up for another hour.  Looking forward to breakfast tomorrow.

Wildstar - Level 8: The Ballad of Sir Chesh Snuggywums

Summary: The Dominion really like burning trees, so Forlla fought this.  But that pales in comparison to reading the story of the most noble plushie toy ever.

FFVIII – Part 46: Masters of the Garden

Summary: A nice relaxing tour where Squall and Rinoa are being cute and I play some cards and oh the Garden Master wants to talk and wait a second WHAT THE SWEET FUCK HUH WHAT IS NO CIDEA NORG HUH WHAT

Coldrun Fitness - Day 5

I don't know why, but I was just ridiculously hungry and distracted this morning.  Unsettled, restless.

More focused in the afternoon. Was doing okay, but just against felt over hungry and didn't deal with it well at night.  Have to figure out a better strategy.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 4

FFVIII – Part 45: Transformative Architecture

Summary: It’s a Garden! It’s a bunker! It’s a plane! It’s a ship! The team wards off the attack on the Balamb Garden. Visually stunning ending. Also, a frustrating death that I way overreacted to, as I tend to do.

Wildstar - Level 7: Geist to Meet You

Summary: Escaped the burning Bloodbloom Vale for the new forest of Celestion.  Got an adorable/horrifying (adorafying?) little buddy: the Geist.

Coldrun Fitness - Day 3

FFVIII – Part 44: Fractured into Factions

Summary: The SeeDs try not crack under the stress as they learn that the B-Garden fractured into factions. They smack each other in the halls and don’t print retractions. Team Cid vs Team Norg (??).

Coldrun Fitness - Day 2

The afternoon is the toughest part of the day, no question. I learned today that when I got home feeling really hungry, not having eaten in about five hours, I think I'm hungrier than I am and binged. 

Today, I'm going to try a leap of faith - trusting myself that when I eat a small snack and some time passes, it'll satisfy that hunger.  I have to trust myself. 

That's my goal tomorrow.  And if I eat less tomorrow than usual to make up a bit for today's binge, that'd be fine too.

Wildstar - Level 6: Airstrike

Summary: The Elderoot is ready to share his knowledge when the Chua bomb him, killing the ancient tree.  The Exiles plot revenge.