FFVII – Part 37: Cat’s Paw

Summary The S.S. Tifa/Cloud gains speed and power. I freak out to learn that I misjudged a party member about as badly as its possible to misjudge a party member, and we lose the keystone.




Golden Saucer Hotel

-LOL – Cait Sith and Cid basically ask WTF this is all about since they haven’t been here for the whole thing.

-Cloud recaps the thing. I already knew most of it, but the Black Materia part is interesting.

-Quick side note: this has to be the most terrifying hotel room ever.

Like the alternate location for “Five Nights at Freddy’s.”

-Hojo did something to the men in the black capes, and tattooed Red with a number as well (#13), but nobody exactly knows what, or what their relation to Sephiroth is. After all, it’s not like Hojo’s working for him. (As far as I know.)

-Aw. Nanaki’s worried that he’ll turn into one of the mindless capes.

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That Night…

-Tifa approaches Cloud. She wants to sneak away! Woohoo!

-The two head out for the enchantment under the sea da… ahem, “Enchantment Night” at the Saucer. Something’s happening in Event Square.

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Event Square

-They have to be in an improv play? This is going to be so awkward. XD

-In the play, she’s Princess Rosa and he’s the noble hero Alfred. The Evil Dragon King Valvados kidnapped her.

-We have the chance to kill the Evil Dragon King or the regular human king. I feel like this is paralleling Cloud’s present and future, but not sure how. Maybe the regular king is Shinra and the Evil Dragon King is Sephiroth.

-ARRR MATEYS BOARD THE SHIP WEIGH ANCHOR FULL SPEED AHEAD

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-I had Cloud choose to save the princess. As Evil Dragon King says: “Arrrrrrgh! Curses! The power of love!” (Hey, my “Back to the Future” joke actually kind of fits now.)

NARRATION: “Oh, how profound the power of love… and so the legendary hero Alfred and our story live on happily ever after.”

I’d like to believe that’s true. And yet, Cait Sith’s prophecy keeps scratching at my brain. That things won’t end well, and we’ll lose in some major way even as we win.

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The Gondola

-This is beautiful. The music, everything.

-IS THIS HAPPENING

-SAY IT

-DAMMIT TIFA

-Fucking FFVII. Trolling me so hard.

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Daytime

-…Cait Sith? He took the keystone and ran! Wtf!

-We pursue him across the Saucer.

-AND HE RUNS OUTSIDE AND THROWS THE KEYSTONE TO TSENG IN A HELICOPTER

-Mind controlled or hired? I actually don’t think he’s mind-controlled.

-He confirms it. He was a spy hired by Shinra.

CAIT SITH: “How about we go on like nothing ever happened?” How about go fuck yourself?

CAIT SITH: “What are you gonna do? Kill me? This body’s just a toy, anyway.” What in the FUCK? Is he some grander spirit borrowing this cat’s body?

-YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

-Cait Sith isn’t even here. His real body is back at Shinra, and he’s remote controlling this one. So he was both hired AND mind-controlled… or rather, this body was mind-controlled by someone who was hired.

CAIT SITH: “Something bothers me. I think it’s your way of life. You don’t get paid. You don’t get praised. Yet you still risk your lives and continue on your journey….” He’s feeling guilty, or maybe unfulfilled is more accurate.

-His little “I understand your toil, so please trust me” thing doesn’t work. After all, it takes time to rebuild trust. So what does he do next? He plays a recording of Marlene to prove he’s holding her hostage.

-That’s right. He’s holding Marlene hostage and holding us hostage. If we don’t play by his rules, he’ll kill Marlene. He’s so blasé about this. We have no choice.

-Tomorrow, we’re going to the Temple. After Shinra’s finished, of course.

-I was SO WRONG. I thought Cait Sith was just like Mog or Boko. A goofy, lovable, joke character. I even thought there’d be some cute little backstory, like where he was a stray cat who lost his mom and got adopted by the MoogleCow he now rides. And he turns out to be this. Wow.

HFDJKLSFH IT JUST HIT ME THAT THE GAME TELEGRAPHED THIS

HE IS A CAT RIDING A MOOGLECOW AND ISSUING ORDERS

AND IN REALITY HE WAS A PERSON RIDING A CAT RIDING A MOOGLECOW

HIS INNATE MATERIA WAS “MANIPULATE”

FUCKING META FUCKING FUCK THIS GAME GAAAAH

-The next day, we get ready to go to the Temple of the Ancients. Aeris is locked into the party. Makes sense – she’s an Ancient, after all.

Prediction: she’ll have a Terra-style thing happen at the Temple where some “inner Cetra” goes super Saiyan, possibly with destructive consequences. Cait Sith, you’re coming too. Friends close, etc. etc.

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Next time: To the Temple of the Ancients. For realsies, this time.