Road to 269 - 10/6/16

I checked my weight this morning.  270.2 lbs.

To be honest, I'm scared. I hate how I feel, how I look, how easily I get winded.  Tried for so long to make adjustments only to give up so soon after.

There's no plan that can help me.  There's no long term strategy I can count on.  I have zero confidence that if I want to do something over the course of a week, I'll be able to follow-through.  None.

I'm currently around 270 pounds.  Let's see if I can get to 269 somehow.  Make a couple of better food choices today.  Go for a little bit of exercise.

I can do that much.  I think I can.

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Food Log

• Small skim hot chocolate. Got skim milk instead of whole milk.  Got it without whipped cream. (210 cal)
• Chipotle burrito bowl.  No beans. Light corn. (850 cal)
• Bottled mocha frappuccino. Nothing with whipped cream.  I'm finding that not getting whipped cream knocks a bunch of calories out on its own without taking away from the taste of most of this. (180 cal)

-Currently at 1,240 calories around noon.  Going to try focusing on work, not snacking on anything until the end of the work day at 4:30pm.  I have a water bottle with me.  One of those "Camelback" deals.  Maybe that'll help.

-2:30pm.  I feel like going to get something to eat. And yet.. I'm not hungry.  The temptation to eat is real, but I'm not hungry. This is the moment I have to deal with if I want to improve my eating habits.  Not "don't eat when hungry," not "stick to a random artificial calorie limit no matter how I feel."  But really learn to listen to myself.

I'm a bit tired.  Spend the last 2.5 hours focusing.  I'll give myself a bit of a break.  A chance to not focus without eating.  Maybe that'll help.

• A chocolate covered strawberry and a yogurt cup. Ate this snack around 3:30pm.  Glad. (130 cal)
• Falafel and hummus bowl. (800 cal)

It's 9:40pm.  Done for the day.

Total calories: 2,170

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Exercise

25 minute Pokewalk.