Bikanel Desert
-The atmosphere here is quite hazy.
-Found Nhadala. She wants us to check out “the Oasis.”
-There are five sections of the desert. Western, South, Central, and Eastern Expanses, plus the Oasis.
-There’s a locked treasure chest in camp. A dude is pacing around it nervously, saying he lost the key in the currently-off-limits Central Expanse.
-A deadbeat is being forced to work off his debts in the Southern Expanse. And sounds like Tobli might be next on the block.
-A caravan sometimes stops by the Oasis and sells rare goods.
-There’s a thing here that will keep score of my dig results.
---
Water We Doing Here?
-Mission time. To investigate the Oasis and report back. Sounds like I may run into the Leblanc Syndicate while out there.
-Found a sphere immediately – Rikku’s special dressphere, Machina Maw. Awesome!
-Logos arrives with two Leblanc Syndicate goons. I love how ridiculous this whole subplot is.
-Another easy fight (not that I expect these to be all that tough), and Logos flees. We get another uniform.
-Also, the Hour of Need Garment Grid.
---
Bikanel Desert
-That popped us back into the airship afterward, but I want to come back here to explore the desert more.
-The Pilot recommends checking out the Western Expanse first.
-We have a digging partner, what seems to be a machina named Picket.
-I have a limited time to grab stuff, fight off fiends, and get back to the Hover before I fail.
-It was… surprisingly fun! Felt more like Chocobo Hot & Cold than anything else.
-Two main items I found. One is “Attack Assembly A” (maybe I’ll find B in the other Expanses) and a few coins. A Phantom Coin, a Malboro Coin.
-Found Attack Assembly S in the Southern Expanse.
-Tried going back to the Oasis, and found a treasure chest floating there with a Hi Potion.
-The white X is for an item, yellow X is for a mission-critical item (like Scrap Metal or those Attack Assemblies).
-Oooh, a green X! It’s a dude stuck there working off debt. Not much happens though. He talks to me, complains a bit, and that’s it.
-Finding gil, more coins… nice, an Al Bhed primer!
-I keep finding more Attack and Defense Assembly parts, but not sure how to keep track of them. I don’t see them in my inventory, in key items, accessories, or anywhere. Maybe they’re just generic “the dig is over” indicators.
-Songstress!Yuna’s BrakeDance (Stop on all enemies) is ridiculously good.
-lol found trash in the oasis
-Okay, after about 15 digs I’m ready to call it for now. (12 successful, 3 failed.) Learned some more Al Bhed. Not nearly enough to converse in, but it’s a start.
---
Djose Highroad
-This should be the last place for a syndicate uniform.
-I continue to love the Leblanc Syndicate’s bumbling cartoonish villainy.
-Mission time. “Two Birds, One Stone.” The goal is to find a sphere that the Syndicate misplaced as well as steal their clothes.
-Ooh, I forgot something: I’d been meaning to try out RIkku’s special sphere.
-IT’S AWESOME SHE’S ON A MACHINA WAR FROG
”Activate super duper mega ultra assault mode!”
¬-It fires missiles and death rays and it’s fucking amazing.
-Found Yuna’s special dressphere just kind of lying in the road. Floral Fallal.
-Ormi and Logos are here. They bicker a bit when we refuse to give our new special dressphere. Pry it from my cold dead fingers, assholes.
-I KNOW WHY THEY FEEL SO SPECIFICALLY CARTOONY!! It just hit. They remind me of the Duck Tales villains, Ma Beagle (Leblanc) and the Beagle Boys (Ormi and Logos).
-Another pretty straight-forward fight against Ormi and Logos.
-Mission complete. We got a full set of Syndicate uniforms and the Bum Rush garment grid.
---
Faking and Entering
-Time to infiltrate Chateau Leblanc. Onto Guadosalam.
-Hee! I love the mission name. “Faking and Entering.” Let’s get back that stolen sphere – broken or not.
-Wait, Nooj is in here? Wtf is Mevyn Nooj doing talking to Leblanc – let alone thanking her?
-Ah. He’s after the location of Vegnagun.
-I can’t tell whether Leblanc is really into Nooj, really attracted to and in love with him, or whether she’s just using him. Probably the latter.
-uhhhhh
-…what exactly is our role going to be? We’re ordered to give the boss our “full attention.”
-My guess is masseuse, but the game seems to be implicitly setting this up as a sex work scenario. Or at least the translators seem to strongly hint that way. I’d be shocked if they follow through on this beyond a massage.
-Into Leblanc’s room. Full of hearts. (I’m gonna take a wild stab that this isn’t what the room looked like when Seymour occupied it.)
-There’s a life-size statue of Mevyn Nooj here. Perhaps she really does love him.
-Yeah. I think she does. She blushed as she looked at it and blew it a kiss.
-Yup. “Masseuse.” I have a task to massage her “for peak pleasure,” with the objective of “satisfy Leblanc.” Like, they’re not remotely being subtle.
-oh my god lol this is a massage mini-game
-I’m not quite sure how to play. Is this a hot & cold game? Must be – I don’t think they’d make this purely random.
-ok I legit just had to put on headphones because I think anyone who hears this mini-game through my walls would be sure I was watching porn (e.g. “Oh yeah, right there, that’s the spot, don’t stop.”)
-SHE’S CALLING MEVYN NOOJ “NOOJIE-WOOJIE” AND I’M DONE
-He’s the reason she became a sphere hunter. Huh. Now I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around – that he’s playing her.
-She falls asleep under our magic fingers. Ormi and Logos come in and order us down into the living room to do something about the “switch.” Sphere time?
-We press the switch and it opens up a secret door. In we go.
-Fucking Brother. He blows our cover with his loud voice checking in, and we have to fight Ormi for what feels like the 73rd time.
-lol found Leblanc’s “secret weapon” – Heady Perfume.
Credit where credit’s due: Leblanc has some consistent style. Red and hearts.
-Found two security override buttons. There’s a third I have to find before whatever these are going to do will happen.
-Another sphere.
-Crimson Squad Selection Exercise? These are ormi and logos, right talking, right?
-“Four still live. Fix it.” I’m pretty lost. Who’s the Crimson Squad? I have to watch this again later.
-Ormi and Logos catch us and we have yet another fight against them. WHY.
-Whatever. I’ll use this as a chance to try out Yuna’s new special dressphere.
-Ok, again, they’ve done a great job with the special dressphere. She becomes a giant flower goddess.
Although I’m not quite sure what the flower motif has to do with Yuna. Swords fit Paine, machina fits Rikku, but still trying to remember why Yuna might be connected with flowers. Maybe this was originally Aeris’s special dressphere.
-They flee, and activate traps on their way out. Maybe now we’re supposed to push those override buttons.
-OH SHIT GIANT SPIKE WALL – We dodge into one of the canyon things beneath it to avoid getting smooshed.
-Got it!! I had to hop up on the spike wall onto an upper platform and press the final button. …that sounds pretty confusing when I put it like that, but the short of it is that I found a secret passage to a new area.
-What’s that orb thing? It looks like the thing on the Celsius.
-We found the broken sphere that Leblanc stole. Along with the other half, which she had in the first place. Current guess: combined, it’ll point the way to Vengnagun.
-Christ. Another Ormi/Logos fight? Really? It’s not tough, just an odd choice.
-hahaha, Leblanc cast “Not-So-Mighty Guard.” We dispel it.
-Not too tough of a fight, but they use a pretty sweet triple-attack where Leblanc catches us all in a whirlwind, Logog shoots at us, and Ormi jumps up and slams us down.
-We win, and Leblanc basically surrenders.
-Got the Healing Light garment grid.
-So what’s on the sphere?
-some guards by Vegnagun, looking creepy as ever. Beneath Bevelle.
-New Yevon’s concealing the weapon. Rikku wants to go dismantle it. Leblanc says that’s Nooj’s plan – excuse me, “Noojie’s” – and hers as well. She wants us to help.
-Leblanc reminds me most of all of Dona. A nuisance, a rival, but not actively evil.
-omg leblanc is joining us on the Celsius XD
-Poor Yuna. She was really hoping to be done with world-threatening crap.
---
Next time: Celsius and then Bevelle. Also, I plan to review and update my Garment Grid/Dressphere strategy.
