FFIV After Years – Part 61: Final Thoughts on FFIV

Villains: The end of the world stuff from the base game was a bit standard. A monster that hates a race it sees as below it, unworthy of it, is a story as old as the Bible. The Interlude/After Years story was much more interesting and unpredictable to me.

I’ve heard it said that a superhero movie is only as good as its villains. I don’t know if I fully buy that, but I loved the Maenads. They were well-defined and built up gradually, especially with the Interlude serving to set the whole thing up.

I have a feeling that the Creator will stick with me. We weren’t explicitly told the scope of his involvement, whether he really created these worlds and races or just watched or tinkered with them or something in the middle. Whatever the case, there were SO MANY CRYSTALS just lying around the lower reaches of the Depths, and in the Creator’s room. I have to imagine that the rest of the Final Fantasy games were somehow watched, helped, or overseen by the Creator.

The Emperor from FFII seemed ambitious. He conquered the earth, heaven, and hell. But he’s got nothing on the Creator.

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Primary Characters: This was the true strength of the base game, and “the After Years” built beautifully on that foundation. I love the relationships in this game deeply. Just as with FFII, the ostensible protagonists of each – Kain, Cecil, Rosa – were the least interesting to me. They felt a bit paint-by-numbers.

“The After Years” was so brilliant in bringing other characters to the forefront. Luca, Ursula, Ceodore, Edge and Rydia. Porom! Palom and Leonora! EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD. There was so much hidden potential in these stories, so much room to explore, and it took its time in exploring it.

They took many breaks from pure grinding to dive into this. All the different night cutscenes on Moon #2 are prime examples. Sometimes they add gameplay elements, like setting up new Band attacks, but that’s a side bonus. The relationships are intrinsically interesting to me.

The story set-up was great too, how you could pick which story to follow first. A nice change from the purely linear style of the FF games preceding it.

A negative: the story itself could feel grindy at times. They kept going back to the style of setting up a mystery in an individual story, coming close to telling us wtf was really happening, and then the story ended. It all sort of paid off when the stories came together on the moon, but they kept delaying it so often that it became a bit frustrating at times.

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Length This absolutely felt like the longest game. And not just in terms of writing, but in terms of pure game time.

FFIV (base game + Lunar Ruins): 46 hours, 38 minutes
FFIV (Interlude): 3 hours, 12 minutes
FFIV (After Years): 52 hours, 23 minutes

TOTAL: 101 hours, 13 minutes

THAT’S A LONG FREAKING GAME. (I know, it’s basically like two separate games, but still.) Roger Ebert once said no really good movie is too long, and no really bad movie is too short. The same may generally be true for games, but this may be a case of a really good game that was a bit on the long side.

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Gameplay: The on-rails class system wasn’t an entirely welcome shift from FFIII. I’m fine with the games switching it up a bit, but some variety and choice would’ve been nice.

Combat felt smooth and intuitive. The bosses were often like puzzles to solve rather than simply walls to climb with grinding and higher levels. I have no doubt I could’ve gone that route, but I like how smooth the natural leveling curve felt. Similar to FFIII.

Band attacks were a good system, and I wish I had taken more advantage of it.

The lunar phase seems like a nice idea, but again, I didn’t end up having to interact with it much. I found a Lunar Phase that was good for my composition, and tried to keep it up. It was maybe too easy to avoid interacting with this system just by stocking up on cabins and sleeping away the “bad” cycles.

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Music: It’s hard for me not to be biased. This was defining game music of my childhood, especially the combat music. Not sure how much time my brother and I spent imitating it and trying to transliterate it: “ZZZZHHHHWOMP! Dununununununu…” So many great themes.

My two favorite, from the After Years:

The Mysterious Girl music, for the Maenads, nee Evil Moon Girl:


Master of Creation, from the Creator’s montage. See 2:43 of the following:

(see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcdogxuswhI)

Graphics: I never had played PSP before, and this was so clean and crisp. Wonderful upgrade from SNES. Style-wise, WAAAAAY better than FFIII on the DS in my opinion. I get that it’s a style thing and a matter of taste, but the whole “kawaii” thing just isn’t my favorite.

Many monsters were creepy and creative and horrifying. Some favorites:

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Replayability: YES YES YES. I don’t want to replay it now, but there are so many party compositions and stories and things I missed. I remember now that I forgot to go back to the Challengingway Dungeons, and though I won’t do that (feel free to spoil for me if you’d like and have cool stuff to share from those), this is the first game that felt like I could play it a lot of different ways.

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So that’s that. A fun game with great characters and combat, and a clear step forward in many ways from FFIII, but holy hell is it long.

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Next time: Final Fantasy V.

FFIV After Years – Part 60: And… Scene (The Crystals)

Summary: The credits. That’s all. That’s enough. Say thankya.

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Very cool credits screen! Curtains on the edges, as if this is a theatre production that’s ending.

The credits roll, and as they do so, each main character or main set of characters takes a bow. They (usually) come from stage left, move to the center, bow/wave, and exit stage right.

#1) Cecil and Rosa.

#2) Cid comes out and does a little wave and jump.

#3) Luca and *cowers in the corner* Calca and Brina. Each of them does a slow spin jump and then waves. I know “The After Years” tried to make them into basically good creatures, or at least basically neutral, but I don’t even care. Creepy.

#4) Human forms of Leviathan and Asura.

#5) Hee. Cuore and Rydia.

Cuore is super excited, tugging Rydia onto the stage, and Rydia’s clearlynot moving fast enough for Cuore’s liking.

#6) Edge. When he gets to the middle of the stage, his four trainees each fly onto either side of him from out of nowhere, in their disguised forms (dwarf, toad, etc.).

Then all four do a spin jump and transform into their real forms. They all the NINJA JUMP away. Bye, y’all.

#7) Yang and Ursula. Sheila hustles out to join them.

#8) Porom and Palom. Porom drags Palom out. He’s being all surly about having to come and bow.

Then Leonora pokes her head out from behind the curtain briefly, before retreating back offstage. Palom is able to cajole her out onto the stage, and they all take a bow. I love this.

#9) Edward and Harley, with the ghosts of Tellah and Anna briefly hovering over them.

Spectral photography.

#10) Golbez comes out on stage alone and bows solemnly. BUT WAIT! He’s not alone – he just thinks he is. As he walks out stage right, the ghost of Fusoya briefly appears briefly, watching him, unseen. I know this credit scene was probably done assuming Golbez lives, but still, the visual here is really sad to me. That even in death, Golbez feels alone.

I like to think that if the credits were done based on how my particular game went, they would’ve taken the bow together.

#11) Kain. Of course, he jumps in from above rather than walking onto the stage. Really cool shot of his three selves. He jumps away.

Three Kains.

#12) Ceodore.

THE END!

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Next time: brief thoughts/review/wrap-up on FFIV.

FFIV After Years – Part 59: The After After Years (The Crystals)

Summary: A bit of post-game after the fall of the Creator and the not-fall of Moon #2. The crystals have been restored to their rightful cities, which each have to deal with the implications of what they now know about the crystals' purpose. The world begins to move on and rebuild.

Again.

(Hopefully the Creator's Creator doesn't pop in like fifteen years from now to throw Moon #3 and the bosses from FFXI-XIV at these poor people.)

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Troia Castle

-Leonora and the Epopts. Anyone out there looking for a band name, feel free to take that.

-The crystals are returned to the keeper cities. Time to rebuild.

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Mysidia

-Palom and Porom in the crystal room.

-The Elder’s awake. Palom will put off sage training to help Mysidia. Yay for believable character growth!

-The Elder’s leaving Palom and Porom to run the city.

I’d love to be a fly on the throne room wall during some of the legislative sessions headed by Palom and Porom.

-Leonora came to Mysidia!

-…and she gave up on being an Epopt? This better not be just cause she thinks Palom is the bee’s knees.

-AND IT’S NOT! SHE CAME TO TRAIN UNDER PALOM AND POROM TO HELP BECOME A SAGE! This is the best.

-LOL Tsukinowa is watching over all of this, still in toad form, from the edge of the screen.

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Dwarven Castle

-Luca and Giott are in the crystal room discussing the crystals. He’s not very philosophical about the whole thing.

-Some dude named “Mid” comes in… oh, it’s Cid’s grandson! Mid, Cid, and Luca all head out to work on the Falcon.

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Fabul Castle

-Discussion here about whether the new information about the crystals changes anything. After all, these were regarded as basically holy objects by their people. Spiritually powerful objects to guide their life. Does it change things to know now that they were recording devices in a horrifying evolutionary experiment, and that the wisdom-granting was a side-effect? These guys say no, but I think it’ll be much more of an individual decision how to react.

-These people believe that the crystals will still serve as unifying symbols. Probably right.

Seems reasonable, if glass-half-full given the Creator’s experiment.

-YES! Yang is training with Ursula. We see them together, and she’s definitely getting put through her paces.

-Gekkou looks on from atop the castle walls.

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Damcyan Castle

-Harley and Edward in the crystal room.

-Edward wonders if the Blue Planet’s crystals are somewhat different from the rest. Hm. They did seem to have special powers bestowed on them beyond popping out some horrifying monsters from hell or the dark world. Plus, they had that whole wisdom-granting thing.

-Edward believes that the crystals THEMSELVES evolved in response to the way that caring and good people around them evolved. Really, really interesting idea. I think the Creator’s experiment was more successful than the Creator himself believed.

-The Chancellor pops in and asked if Hardward gathered the “material.” Huh?

-I decide to try “Hardward” as a shipping name for Harley and Edward, and immediately regret that decision.

-HI ANNA AND TELLAH. Their ghosts briefly appear by the crystal as Harley and Edward leave. Still watching over.

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Eblan Castle

-Lol. Edge is still leaving the castle randomly, cause he feels like it. To his Chancellor’s frustration. Good straight man for Edge.

-We see Edge on his way out of the castle, and his ninja trainees (minus Izayoi, sigh) all jump from out of freaking nowhere to report what they’ve been observing: all is well.

-He’s happy. He asks them to do whatever they want with their lives. They all pledge their lives and service to the defense of Eblan. Edge’s reply:

-Never change, Edge.

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Mist

-HI MAENAD GIRL!

-Her name is now “Cuore.” Not sure exactly how to pronounce it, but I’m going with KWAW-ruh. Did Rydia adopt her? Looks like it. That must be fun.

-And old man and queen appeared.

-OH SHIT IT’S LEVIATHAN AND ASURA. In human form. Just visiting.

-Cuore is clearly having to work hard to learn normal human conversation and customs.

Reminds me of Castiel, in a just-getting-used-to-how-humans-interact kind of way.

-[ST:VOY] Guvf erzvaqf zr n ybg gb Frira bs Avar, ohg va erirefr creuncf. Frira jn gnxra sebz uhzna yvsr nf n puvyq, Naavxn, naq gura envfrq ol gur Obet. Phber jnf gnxra sebz onfvpnyyl ZbbaObet yvsr nf n puvyq naq vf abj orvat envfrq ol uhznaf.

-Edge shows up, and Cuore’s really excited to see him. I’m not at all surprised that Edge is good with kids. Just fits. He’s kind of a manchild.

-Hee. Edge says he’ll play with her if she promises not to use magic. I imagine Maenads use magic pretty naturally, even children.






My headcanon for what brought on Edge's request that Cuore tone down the magic:

Cuore: Hey, Edge.  Will you play catch with me?
Edge: Sure!  You got a ball?
Cuore: I can make one.  *FIRAGA*

-Really curious what adult Cuore will be like.

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Baron Castle

-Ceodore, Cecil, and Rosa, in the courtyard. Ceodore and Cecil briefly spar (and we even get a combat screen), but the ever-popular “???” breaks the fight up. It’s Kain!

-He’s Ceodore’s new squad captain in the reborn Red Wings.

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Red Wing Ship

-Luca and Cid.

-Interesting. They aren’t upgrading the ship. Just the opposite: disarming the ship. By Cecil’s royal decree. Nice job, Cecil.

-Kain and Ceodore board. Their mission: worldwide reconstruction. Ambitious. Probably expensive, too.

-FDJKLSFHFHKL

-We get a brief (like, blink and you’ll miss it) appearance of the ghosts of Wedge and Biggs watching this.

-First stop: Damcyan. To use Edward’s material for rebuilding.

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-Three ships of the rebuilt Red Wings, now led by Holy Dragoon Kain, take off from Baron and fly north. The camera pans up as the ships fly on, and we see a single moon in the sky.

Credits.

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Next time: I plan on two more Final Fantasy IV posts. The first one will go over the credits, which are actually pretty well-done and fun. The second will be a brief review of thoughts on this game. Then… FFV!

FFIV After Years – Part 58: Meet Your Maker (The Crystals)

Summary: Final boss: the Creator. She’s the survivor of a long dead race whose planet erupted, who has been experimenting for countless centuries with evolution, with restarting her race. The crystals the Maenads have been collecting recorded the data from these evolutionary experiments. We’re data. The fiends were data. Hell itself in FFII was data. Soylent Green is data.

We fight and defeat the constantly evolving Creator. On our escape, we take the Maenad child with us, and the Maenads themselves help protect our escape to save the child. The Creator, broken and collapsing herself, chases us half-heartedly, welcomes her death, and then as perhaps her first kind act in a long time, reverses the falling moon’s course and sends it away from the Blue Planet.

This is a long one. No real natural break points.

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Bottommost Depths

-Ok. Let’s see what’s here.

-WHAT

-THE FUCK

-IS THAT

-Fighting time.

Designed by Ridley Scott.

-Nothing hits back yet.

-It morphed mid-fight. The door got covered with a kind of white film.

-And it morphs again now. The door opens!

-It’s… a doll? A kid?

-Calls itself the “keeper of the crystals.”

-The nameless boss is giving us some crystal back story.

The crystals bestow wisdom to our world, but also record all evolutionary steps. That’s their main purpose. This guy has been using earth to experiment on evolution. I think it may be implied strongly that he made us.

-The Maenads are also part of his experiments! And they were sent to Earth to harvest the crystals as records.

IT MAKES SENSE! FINALLY THE CRYSTALS MAKE SENSE!

The crystals present on all these different worlds, all these different dimensions that the boss visited (or even set up and created himself), were recording all the fiends and monsters that were products and representatives of the evolution of those planets, those worlds.

-This is some major league meta. I may be misreading it, but if I’m even close, then wow.

-Will the boss’s final form be Hironobu Sakaguchi?

-This guy wants to kill our planet because we didn’t advance enough. So he’s ending the experiment by crashing this moon, his spaceship, into it.

-This is some “Prometheus” bullshit right here.

-The boss now has a name: “The Creator.”

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Boss time!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Looks SO TERRIFYING. Like a melted cyborg bunny rabbit.

-Uh-oh. It seems to copy us. Megaflares in response to Bahamut.

-Not going too badly so far… but that can’t be it.

-Of course not.

-Apologies for pronouns. Clearly is a she now.

-She’s NOT a god. Or at least not a supernatural god. The Creator grew up on a blue planet similar to ours, but the land was dying. So the inhabitants set out towards space to find a new home.

They spend GENERATIONS on the ship, and slowly died out. She’s the last of her kind. This moon is their final spaceship. Her whole purpose with Earth, with all her experiments, was to try creating a new home.

-And she’s evolving. Crap.

Next Phase

-Looks like a woman now.

-Spamming Holy. And Meteor. OW.

-Phase down. Still doubt we’re done.

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Next Phase

-WHAT IS THAT

-It’s…

-I don’t even know. A woman riding on a mutant orc/mushroom/planet/machine.

-Charging us.

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Meanwhile, on the Blue Planet

Similar to the base game’s pre-Zeromus shenanigans, we take a brief break here to pan back to how things are going on the Blue Planet. (I’m trying not to call it Earth). Things aren’t going well. People are fighting off monsters driven to aggression and lashing out due to the moon.

-Baron Castle, where everyone in the throne room senses something.

-Rosa’s house, where Rosa’s mom hears her trouble.

-Mist, where the kids and chief sense Rydia.

-Eblan, same thing for Edge.

-Dwarven Castle, same thing for Giott and friends.

Everyone senses the party’s in trouble.

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Lunar Whale

-All the sidelined party members sense the same thing, and just like those back on the Blue Planet, they give what encouragement they can.

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Bottommost Depths

-Interesting.

-The crystals we took, all the Blue Planet crystals, form a protective circle around us. They regain their light.

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Boss Time!

-We’re fighting this mutant form of the Creator now. It has a weakness that explicitly keeps changing, but it’s too tough for me to keep exploring the weakness each time (since a spell that doesn’t hit its weakness heals it instead of damaging it). Libra and Bestiary don’t work. I just melee instead.

-WIN! Not too tough, to be honest.

-The Creator herself tells me to… run? Yeah, even if she dies, we haven’t stopped the moon. Not sure how we get out of this predicament. And by “predicament,” I mean “apocalypse.”

-GET TO THE CHOPPA/LUNAR WHALE!

-Racing back out of the Depths now, retracing my trail, while things shake and collapse behind me.

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Depths - B27

-I get back-attacked by the Creator here. I get the sense she’s not fully in control. Not that she’s a puppet of someone else, just that all the isolation and eons alone have left her in a highly volatile mental place. Despite her whole “Destroy the Blue Planet because it didn’t meet my horrific eugenic standards” thing, I feel bad for her. It can’t be easy to be the last of your race, especially when you are so long lived and had to watch your fellows die slowly over generations, homeless and wandering.

-Despite going into a fight with her, it’s not a real boss fight. She keeps using “Crush” and “Collapse” on herself for massive damage. We can get in maybe a few hits or heals before it ends. Meant to symbolize her chasing/following us as her massive construct/evolution is falling apart.

-Can’t Emergency Exit and the interdimensional elevators up to the Lunar Whale are offline. I really hope I don’t have to run through all 43 levels right now.

-Back attacked again by the Creator.

-And

-wait

-A MAENAD joins our side of the fight, and helps win?

-What?

-The Maenad kid is still out here in the Stasis Chamber room, awaiting our orders. WE TAKE HER. WE TAKE THE CHILD OF THE MAENADS WITH US.

-Really cool narrative set-up here. We keep getting back-attacked by the rapidly-collapsing Creator. Each time a fight comes now, a Maenad shows up on our side of the fight, healing us or attacking the Creator. It gives the sense that we’re trying to run from this juggernaut, and the Maenads are helping cover our escape.

-It also gives us a chance to hear from the Maenads as chaos and the destruction of their world/ship ensues.

-The collected words of the helpful Maenads:

“Watch that child.”

Like, in a [ST:TNG] Obet Dhrra sense, or a more metaphorical “the children are our future” sense? Probably the latter. They’re so focused on evolution and see their race’s home about to be destroyed. Her, and their, best chance probably lies with us on the Blue Planet.

“That child is our future.”

“Creator, how could you?” Poor, betrayed, used Maenads. I still think they’re awful with the havoc they’ve caused, but to be honest, it’s hard for me to hate them here at the end of things.

“You are our father!’ Ow. Yeah. Poor Maenads.

-The Creator attacks us one last time. Clearly at the end of her long, long, murderous and still somehow sad life. Dying words:

This “thank you” seems sincere. I feel like this supports my earlier theory, that the Creator is not totally in control of or accountable for her actions at this point her life. She’s relieved for all of this to be over. Can’t imagine the exhaustion.

-Fade to white.

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Agart

-The astronomers. They see the moon leaving.

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Lunar Whale

-Apparently the Creator’s last act was to repent, and send the falling moon away with her dying breath. So much of this game has been about waking shackled Eidolons. Perhaps we finished by waking a Creator shackled by her own life, her own past, her own actions.

That’s that.

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Next time: Probably the wrap-up. 

FFIV After Years – Part 57: City of the Maenads (The Crystals)

Summary: While the entrance to the city was full of hostile Maenads, the ones we meet here, while undoubtedly still hostile, talk to us. Their purpose is evolutionary, focused on advancing the race. They seem like computers awaiting programming, soldiers awaiting orders. We see a Maenad stasis chamber, including a Maenad child who’s totally not creepy in the least. We reach the 30th level of the Depths: “Bottommost Depths.”

Deep breath before the plunge.

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Depths – B23

-The Maenads here are represented by sprites on the map. They’re passive, and I can talk to them….

-[ST:TNG spoilers] Frevbhf Obet ivorf. “Our will is as one.”

Resistance is futile.

-They await their next mission.” Await from who? The final boss must be some sort of Maenad Queen.

-Other pearls from the Maenads: “We are the most advanced form of life.” “Where is the next crystal we must recover?”

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Depths – B24

-THIS FLOOR IS SO CREEPY. So many Maenads all in stasis chambers.

-I’m pretty sure Maenads are GROWN, not born.

-AAAAAAAAAHH!!! There’s a child Maenad! She’s awake!

Will she be the queen, the boss?

-She follows our orders. We tell her to stay, and she gives the Stepford answer of “Understood…”. Goosebumps. Tres creepy.

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Depths – B25

-This room is a crystal chamber. All of the Earth’s crystals are here, dark and light. Yoink!

-Some of the glow in the dark crystals is gone. Probably not a good thing.

-Many of these crystals are “unrecognized.”

-Phew, I was given the chance to restock on xpots.

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Depths – B26

-Music again. It’s jarring, after so much silence.

-We’re sort of outdoors again, with a nebula-type thing in the background.

Kind of beautiful.

-So freaked out. I both do and don’t want to know what the Maenad’s leader will look and act like.

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Depths – B27

-More of the earlier space garden atmosphere.

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Depths – B28M

-A quiet walk. No monsters. More tension building.

-It’s super effective, btw.

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Depths – B29

-I’m so freaked out right now. Nearly 30 levels beneath the moon’s surface.

-Wait. Way more than that. The Depths are almost 30 levels, and the Subterrane above the depths were another 13. Almost 43 levels below the moon’s surface. A lot of this has been pure environment, walking down empty corridors. No problem at all. I’m totally up for environment over grinding when it fits the game. It fits here.

It feels a bit like I’m deep sea diving. So far below the surface of the ocean, the surface teeming with light and life. In some pitch black and quiet seascape. Wondering what sleeping leviathan will open its eye at my approach.

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Bottommost Depths

Here we go.

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Next time: We see what we see in the Bottommost Depths.

FFIV After Years – Part 56: Revenge is a Dish Best Served with Megaflare (The Crystals)

Summary: We press on into the lonely depths of this moon. It is quiet. Too quiet. A giant death mask beast attacks us, but aside from that it is mostly uninterrupted walking. Way down deep, in “Depths – B20,” we meet EMG, who finally had enough of us. She brings out Bahamut. But with the help of Asura and Leviathan, we awaken the Eidolon god, who roasts his former captor. Moving further on, we find a city of EMGs - a city of "Maenads."

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Depths – B16

-It’s quiet down here. No music. No monsters. Just a path. And a much more high tech path – circuits, metal, etc. – than the prior Depths.

The changing terrain of the Depths.

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Depths – B17

-This is seriously getting creepy. Still no music or monsters.

-I’m really on edge right now.

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Depths – B18

-A chest with “Lunar Helm” for Cecil. Nothing else, just walking and an empty path.

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Depths – B19

-STILL NO MUSIC WHAT IS GOING ON

-NO RANDOM ENCOUNTERS, JUST WALKING

-The tension this is building is enormous.

-And then BOOM. Out of nowhere, a boss fight. I thought the Death Masks alone were creepy. I never even consider that they’re just part of the package.

Sneak attacked by the complete Death Mask robot = yikes..

-The Death Mask has a Body. Not too tough of a fight, but as I’ve said throughout this playthrough, I have a fear of titanic, massive monsters, and this was a doozy.

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Depths – B20

-Save point. I smell boss time coming up.

-There’s Evil Moon Girl. Fucking EMG. She says we’ve gone too far, and now she can’t permit us to go any further. It’s time.

-And she summons Bahamut.

-Here we go. Us versus Bahamut and EMG.

-Ok, got reflect on everyone, and Bahamut is counting down to his Megaflare.

-5… 4… 3… 2…

-EMG GO EAT A BAG OF HELL OK THX

-Just as Bahamut reached “1” in his countdown, EMG cast Black Hole, which removed all our buffs, and all our Reflects. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

-Our party survived his Megafalre. Somehow.

-Ok, screw Reflect. All out attack.

-Come on, Bahamut! Wake up!

-Asura popped in to try waking him up from EMG’s control, but no luck. He Megaflared Asura. That’s gotta suck for her – Bahamut is her god.

-Leviathan now attempts to wake him up. No luck. He gets Megaflared too.

-wait what

-HAHAHAHA YES!!! HE WOKE UP AND TURNED ON EMG. THIS IS AWESOME.

Bahamut is telling EMG what is UP!

-So happy right now.

-She tries to cast Reflect on herself at the last second (lol), but Bahamut gives zero fucks.

Evil Moon Girl, about to become a Hot Pocket.

-His Megaflare destroys her. SORRY EMG BYE

-The end?

-No.

-Rydia gets the ability to summon Bahamut again. We push on, and see a very high tech outer wall in front of us.

City in the Depths.

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Depths – B21

-Many random encounters in this city, and all with 2-3 EMGs. But they are EMGs no longer.

-That’s right.

-Finally ---- FINALLY ---- they give EMG a name.

-This is blowing my mind. She’s not a single villain who cloned herself, or a robot. She’s part of a RACE of beings with what similar or possibly identical looks. This is how they were able to invade so many different places at once. They are called the Maenads.

-We’ve spent this entire game fighting off their invasion. Dealing with their haughtiness, their disdain, their power. We’ve seen them kill and manipulate our friends. We’ve seen them push for the end of the planet.

-And now our assault party of Big Damn Heroes has arrived at their home.

-Hell. Yes.

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Next time: Into the city of the Maenads.

FFIV After Years – Part 55: Trains, Tentacles, Terror (The Crystals)

Summary: Pushing on in the Depths, we meet two new bosses and one old. A Ghost Train (a literal train that chases us from behind and throws its parts at us; oh, and it knows holy magic). Orthros, something that acts like the product of Gilgamesh mating with an octopus. And Ultima Weapon, from FFII: RoS. I have no idea how much farther these Depths go, or if it’s possible for things to get stranger.

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Depths – B15

-This seems more indoors, and less walking atop a starry nothingness, on this floor.

-Rest. It’s… wow, big group. It’s Edward, Edge, Rosa, and Cecil. Edward brings out his spy flowers. He hears something…

-WHAT

-He hears his people back in Damcyan. How is that possible?



-Things seem pretty apocalyptic on earth. Monster attacks, darkness, etc.

-Oh man. Why did the Whisperweed work again? Because the moon is just that close to crashing into the earth now. Yikes.

-Treasure chest with a “Monster-in-a-Box”: Malboro Menace. Surprisingly weak.

-Another dark crystal.

-…

Yeah.

-It’s a Ghost Train. Like, a choo-choo that died? I guess? A Ghost Train.

-Ok, like 30 parts ago I made a bad joke about how the ghosts of Tellah and Anna shipping Edward and Harley was a “ghost ship.” This is the game wreaking horrific vengeance on me for a terrible pun. I SAID I WAS SORRY, GAME!

-The Ghost Train is chasing me from behind. It throws wheels at me.

-This is just so bizarre.

-The train casts “Holy.” It hurts like hell, and so do the wheels it throws.

-Wait. So this is a Holy Ghost train? (I’m totally going to pun hell.)

-Victory!

-Afterwards, Rydia said she could hear the voices of the dead. CREEPY.

-Reward: Mutsunokami. A nice change from Excalipoor, because this turns Edge into a beast. Great katana.

-Another crystal! I’m not even going to guess what monster is going to pop out, but I’m going to predict it’s something I haven’t seen. Not Chaos or Dark Cloud or the Emperor from FFII or anything.

-I was right. Small comfort.

Final Fantasy really walks a fine line between terrifying and hilarious.

-It’s Orthros. The GOOFIEST looking octopus I have ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen Octomammoth.

-The music doesn’t help make him less goofy. It’s the Calcabrina music.



-Cecil attacks. Orthros: “Ugh! I hate muscle men!”

-I’m reasonably sure all these unknown bosses are from future Final Fantasy games. Maybe Orthros is like the steed/mount of Gilgamesh? Or maybe they’re good buddies who hang out, play Settlers of Catan together, meet for drinks after work, stuff like that.

-Now Orthros is hitting on Rosa and Rydia. “All very cute girls. My favorite kind! Eee!” GROSS. Thanks for that brief and horrifying image of Orthros/Rosa OTP fanfic that must somewhere lurk in the outer depths of the internet.

-Retaliates with constrict. That sucks.

-“Orthros has suddenly changed!” No outward change in Orthros’ sprite, but the music suddenly became regular boss music, and he start kicking my ass. Bad Breath on my party members, he gets HEALED by my fire attacks that previously damaged him, and then he cast Deluge to wipe me out. Dead.

-Dead again. And again.

-Attempt #4: Seems to retaliate hard to magic, so going melee only. And… he’s dead! Yay!

-Seriously, wtf Orthros. You were one of the hardest fights down here and you give me three gil and one point of experience. And a kitchen knife. Not a magical kitchen knife, not a kitchen knife that had been wielded by some ancient soldier in the fight against evil. A regular old kitchen knife.

-I keep getting attacked by “Deathgaze” now. Boss music! He’s fast, hits hard, and… retreats? Hm.

-Blood red crystal, a first for that color. Ruh-roh, Raggy.

-Hey, it’s something old this time!

Ultima.

-“Ultimate Weapon,” from Final Fantasy II: Rebirth of Souls!

-It can one shot players with “Crush.”

-Leviathan doesn’t even help much here.

-Come on, Asura, heal us… Dammit. Not “Raise,” I said “Heal”!!!

-Please, Asura…. FINALLY YOU HEALED US, BLESS YOUR FICKLE HEART. Sylph is more reliable for a group heal, but much weaker.

-How much health does Ultima Weapon have? A metric ton it seems.

-Finally dead. Not too tough, but seriously beefy.

-Reward: Ultima Weapon! The monster in sword form I suppose, equippable by Cecil. It’s awesome. No kitchen knife or Excalipoor from you, you beautiful behemoth monster thingy!

-Deathgaze keeps attacking and retreating. When he doesn’t retreat, I have to retreat because he whomps me hard.

-Found another crystal on the floor, but it’s “unresponsive.” Hm.

-Moving on.

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Next time: Down down down…

FFIV After Years – Part 54: Gilgamesh (The Crystals)

Summary: Further in the depths, the bosses are really new, really hard, and really, really weird. The strangest Final Fantasy boss yet in Gilgamesh, a super robot named Omega, and a crystalline beast called Nova Dragon that flat out defeats me. I lose. I do not beat it. This is a first. Further down, we go through “Twisted Space,” and fight what is probably a gate to Yog-Sothoth and his buddies. We beat the gate, Atomos, and move on.

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Depths – B13

-Dragon central down here. Fiend Dragons, Crystal Dragons, you name it.

-OH GOD, DUKE MALBORO. If we keep going up the Malboro hierarchy to their royalty and their gods, I’m quitting.

-Chimera Geist. OW.

-How to Rosa and Cecil not have a Band attack?

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Depths – B14

-The unassuming Catoblepas came back from prior FFs to haunt me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like a bull with tiny wings anymore.

-Another crystal? Are we now moving onto bosses, like Chaos and Dark Cloud?

-“Gilgamesh”? WTF? Like, the guy from the Babylonian (or some ancient near east) epic?

I repeat: wtf

-He’s dressed like a knight with a clown’s fashion sense. This is weird as hell.

-“This is all my fault. My stomach was hurting.” IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT MY BRAIN IS HURTING. WHO ARE YOU

-“I can’t reach my full power… just kidding!” SERIOUSLY WTF WTF

-Then he fired lasers at me. The Babylonian clown knight just fired lasers at me.

-So far past the point of normal human confusion.

-His dying word: “Bartz?” I have to imagine this is either referencing a future Final Fantasy or the ancient epic, which I haven't read. My money’s on another Final Fantasy, since “Bartz” doesn’t really sound like an ancient word/name.

-He drops a weapon, that given the name and the difficulty of the fight, I expected to be awesome. Maybe some kind of super Excaliber!

I should’ve seen the “poor” in the name. It sucks.

-The party members all kind of like him for some reason.

-Rest. Ceodore and Kain. Kain can relate to Ceodore’s issues with his family/father.

-Aw. Rosa thanks Kain for helping out.

-Monster in a box: “Nova Dragon.” Very cool sprite!

Like a spiny, crystal, seahorse-dragon-thing. I especially like the bony ribcage.

-Less cool: how it ONE SHOTS my entire party with Tidal Wave before I can do anything.

-Four more attempts, and I get one shot each time before I can act.

-Yeah, I give up. May you live a long and peaceful life, Nova Dragon.

-Backtracking before moving on, since I skipped a bunch of rooms and treasure chests.

-Back to Depths – B13 for missed paths and chests.

-Big place.

-Hm.

A wandering robot sprite.

-“Omega.”

Perhaps Evil Moon Girl’s robot puppy. Kind of cute.

-Ow. Many, many, many deaths.

-It’s weak to lightning!

-Edge’s Blitz hits well, and Lightning Brain Buster band attack between Rydia and Luca helps.

-More deaths.

-FINALLY YES HFHDJKFSHLSFJKLDSH HAHAH I WON BEAT YOU I BEAT THE GAME

-Not really, but finally beat Omega.

-Moving on.

-Ok, I reached a lost woods-style maze, but eventually found a door unlike the others out of here. A glowy cave door.

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Depths – Twisted Space

-No random encounters here.

-Weird.

-Another crystal…

What could well be the unholy god worshipped by Trap Doors in the Sealed Cave.

-Atomos. A purple hookah-door that looks like something straight out of Lovecraft.

-Immediate meteor.

-Lightning Brain Buster works wonders.

-Meteor is its ONLY ATTACK.

-And… it dies. Not as bad as I would’ve expected, since the Meteors didn’t come that quickly.

-Totally not ashamed to run from the Proto-Death Masks I encounter. Those are scary beasts.

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Next time: Continue out of Twisted Space further into the Depths. Perhaps more monsters that mean little to me without having played future FF games, that will blow my mind in a variety of ways.

FFIV After Years – Part 53: Dark Side of the Moon (The Crystals)

Summary: We reach the Final Fantasy III section of the Depths. The crystals (dark crystals, of course) each erupt at our approach with a boss we last saw in the FFIII Dark World.

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Depths – B10

-Coeurl Regina = the worst.

-As I write that, it occurs to me how many mobs I’ve called “the worst.” Don’t care. They’re all the worst.

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Depths – B11

-How far will this go? The standard 12? Has to be more if they’re gonna do FFIII bosses soon.

-NOOO!!! Return of “Death Masks,” who cast reflect on themselves, cast reflect on all of my party, and then use Holy and Flare on themselves. Urk.

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Depths – B12

-This time, a “dark” crystal, but one Luca recognizes as altogether different from the dark crystals of the underworld. I smell it! Here it comes!

-It’s FFIII’s DARK WORLD BOSSES: REDUX!

-First up: Ahriman.

Creepy model, nasty boss.

-Adrenaline pumping fight with a unique mechanic. He casts Doom on everyone to give us 10 ticks before death, and then just casts Haste over and over. Took me a death before I learned that he doesn’t do any damage, so just worried about keeping a couple of people alive and attacking.

-Dark crystal #2: Echidna. Nice and original model.

Like a cross between a zucchini, a stalactite, and a vampire.

-She cast quake a lot. (lulz she's a Quake-r.) Float helps. Thanks, Rosa.

-Actually, this is my third game fighting her. She was in FFIII, and in the Earth Gift Shrine of FFI. I didn’t kill her there, but definitely saw her there. I hope she doesn’t keep coming back.

-Third crystal: Twinhead Dragon. Also from Earth Gift Shrine.

-Retaliates with x-aga plus a hard melee attack. Makes sense, given that it has two heads for retaliation.

-Tough fight. All these revisited fights are tough, to be honest.

-Fourth crystal. Only one left, but as I stand here in front of it, I can’t remember who it’ll be.

-Oh, right.

Who's a good dog? Spot is! Yes, he is. (If you get this reference, you get a pile of cookies.)

-Yup. Cerberus. Not a hugely tough fight. He casts three x-agas at a time and melees. It sounds worse than it is, because each x-aga spell is significantly weaker than you might expect.

-Rest time. Kain and Cecil. I really hate them blaming themselves for their actions when mind-controlled. You know why? BECAUSE THEY WERE MIND-CONTROLLED. It’s not their fault.

This is something that bothers me in a lot of different kinds of fictional settings. Like, when re-ensouled vampires in “Buffy” feel guilty for their actions as a vampire, it pisses me off because their ability to consent and decide to act well was at best decimated, and at worst destroyed.

Still, their friendship is cool, and a breath of fresh air after being at odds for such a huge percentage of FFIV, from the base game through deep into The After Years.

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Next time: don’t know. We beat the FFI, II, and III bosses, as well as the rehashes of many FFIV bosses earlier in the Lunar Depths. Hopefully onto some actual final boss now. I WANT TO KNOW WHY THINGS ARE HAPPENING.