Trouble in Paradise (“Make it Rain” Seasonal Event)
-A Gold Saucer-related seasonal event started early this month. I think it mostly just gives bonus Gold Saucer currently, but there’s also a seasonal questline I want to check out.
-The quest begins in Ul’dah. A Dismayed Maiden saw some “ghastly white creatures” in the halls of the Gold Saucer who vanished before her eyes.
She thinks it’s the souls of dead gamblers. I… kind of doubt it lol.
-I go meet the Gold Saucer’s owner, and the only man who can rock a suit with shorts: Godbert Manderville.
A true gentleman.
All his staff is scared. Won’t I investigate?
-One patron describes “two white balloons floating down the hall – rather fancifully, mind you.”
-Omg. It’s a pair of bickering moogles. Seriously, patrons? You don’t know what moogles look like?
-They’re a Moogle Suitor and a Moogle Maiden. Moogles in love!
MOOGLE MAIDEN: “Settle down, my little pomkin. So long as you stay relaxed, she can’t possibly see us, kupo.” Are they pulling a heist? Are they escaping from a feuding moogle family that won’t allow their love?
-These two had great interest in Eorzean culture. They came here to check out the festival and got overwhelmed by the throngs and lights and music.
“It was such a shock, we inadvertently made ourselves visible to everyone here. There was screaming and poking – some even tried to catch us like playthings, kupo!”
Wait, do XIV moogles all just naturally have the ability to go invisible? They must – it’s not treated like a big reveal. I probably learned it before and forgot.
-I loooove all their pet names for each other. As the quest continues, I make a running list of some of my favorites:
“Pomkin,” “snookums,” “honeybunch,” “my little moogleypoo,” “my sweet butter bun,” “pommypie,” “kupokins,” “my little apple dumpling,” “my dear fluffems,” “my little cream puff,” “my dear kuppycake,” “pookie pom,” “sugar lump,” “pomsybear.”
-The moogles and I head over to Godbert Manderville. He acts just as they were hoping he didn’t. He admires their beautiful poms, wants to look closer, and the Moogle Maiden wants none of that.
Wonderfully, Godbert respects that wish! He goes further, instructing his staff to accommodate the visitors so that they can use the Saucer facilities without having to reveal themselves.
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Love and Kupo Nuts (“Make it Rain” seasonal event)
-I get a warning before starting this follow-up quest that this has multiple endings. Interesting.
-The Moogle Maiden flits off to play some of the games. The Moogle Suitor hangs around to tell me he intends to propose to her! He’ll want my help.
-There’s an interesting accessibility/universal design issue here. How do you create a business for moogles who want to stay invisible to folks won’t swarm and prod them? Like, they’re waiting in line at a game where the people playing are taking their sweet time, because they don’t know anyone else is waiting.
-The Suitor asks my help, and I have a choice. I can urge them to wait, urge them to reveal themselves, or play an “innocent little prank.”
It’s Ququshu. Of course she’s going the prank route.
-We don’t actually see the prank happen, but the Suitor reports in afterwards that he and the Maiden both enjoyed it and it worked.
-Next, the moogles look down on a busy square with wonder at all they see.
-The nervous Suitor rushes off to me again and asks for advice. Should he woo her with a song, enjoy a quiet moment with her, or celebrate with a toast of wine?
Hm. I don’t know if moogles like wine and songs feel like a bit much. I go for the quiet moment.
-It doesn’t work. He just feels silly. It would be what I do, but not what a moogle should do. I probably should’ve had him do a song.
-The Suitor is finally ready to pop the question. Only two choices here: believe in yourself, or “there are other fish in the sea.” This is easy. Believe in yourself!
-Oh my god he’s really ramping the pet names up to 11 with his nervousness. “Cutie patootie, sweetgums, cuddlemog, kupo nut of my eye, my jelly belly.” HE ASKS!
”MARRY ME, KUPO!”
MOOGLE MAIDEN: “Before I answer, there’s something I need to say. Your friend over there should hear this as well.”
Uh oh. She saw him getting help from me. (The Suitor is kind of a goof, and not subtle at all, so this makes sense.)
She doesn’t say yes or no. She wants more time at the Gold Saucer.
-The quest is repeatable. I’m going to try again, with some different choices. I GOT YOU, MOOGLE SUITOR!
I love this random Saucer patron giving the finger to their animal policy.
The clear option where I can do better is the second part. Do I have the Suitor sing or make a toast? I’m gonna go with the toast. I feel like the Maiden will just side-eye whatever ridiculous song he sings.
-Another choice opens up. How does he get the wine without showing himself to the barkeep? Should he reveal himself, make the Moogle Maiden get the wine, or should I order for him?
I feel pretty sure the Maiden will not want to reveal herself, and I don’t want to force the Suitor to reveal himself with all the unwanted attention that would draw. I offer to order the wine myself.
-YAAAAY the Moogle Maiden loves the wine! Both moogles are happy drunks.
”I’ve had plenty of wine in my day, but never anything quite like that!”
-We reach the end… and dangit. She still says she wants another day to decide.
-I’m assuming there’s some combo of options that can get them to marry. The prank option seems clearly the best, the wine option worked great. Maybe I tell the Suitor “there are other fish in the sea” before he proposes to relax him?
-ARRRRRGH still not it. Maybe I try having him be the one who buys the wine? No, that seems unlikely. Or maybe it will show that he’s doing this rather than me doing it for him? No, I doubt it.
-Let’s try the song option… she loves it! I was afraid he’d sing some goofy song that’d make him look foolish to the Maiden, but nope. He goes with a song that’s personal to them. It’s really sweet.
OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE STILL SAYS NO!
Ok. I give up. I’m annoyed. If she were real, there would be no problem! Nobody owes anyone marriage, no matter what actions the other person performed. But as a video game mechanic, this is frustrating.
[Non-rhetorical question: is there some combination of outcomes that results in their wedding?]
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Random Stuff Around Eorzea
-The Internet!
-Oops, someone spilled some Tactics in my XIV:
-XIV’s lighting is consistently incredible. This is from the Sohm Al (Hard mode) dungeon:
-An esoteric little game system:
-An XI Mithra minion:
-F THIS, FAM!:
-I like chicken, I like liver…:
-A player in our group dressed up as this terrifying bear:
-Multitasking is tough, let alone playing XIV while snowboarding:
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Next time: Concluding the story of Edda.
