Welcome to Ignis's croque madame! (Feel free to scroll to the bottom if you just want the recipe that worked.)
---
I never heard of this before seeing it in-game. Apparently, it's like a French grilled cheese with ham and bechamel. This was a learning experience.
- I'd never heard the words "roux" or "bechamel" before in my life.
- I've only cooked with flour once, years ago. A cookie recipe.
- I'd never broiled anything before. Didn't even know if I had a broiler.
But whatever! Every recipe I found online said a croque madame was super easy. How hard could it be for this newbie cook?
As with the chili con carne, my goal wasn't a reproduction of what's in-game, but rather making something sort of similar, but easy as possible. The three main sources I drew upon:
- Binging with Babish, Croque Madame
- Binging with Babish, Sopranos food (explains a bechamel in more detail at 8:12)
- Munchies
---
Attempt #1
If you can even call this an attempt. I stalled out on the roux. For some reason, I assumed roux were supposed to, like, coat the bottom of the pan. I couldn't figure out why I was screwing up, so I just threw this (actually reasonable) roux away.
----
Attempt #2
This is even more embarrassing. I remade the roux - equal parts butter and flour, whisked and heated for a bit - then poured in the milk. Stirred it a bit.
And nothing happened. Oh god, what am I doing wrong now? IT'S JUST LIQUID STILL, NOT SAUCE!
So... I didn't know how flour worked. I thought it would be like instant mashed potatoes, where you pour the flakes into the hot milk, stir it a few times, and it turns into fluffy mashed potatoes. I got so frustrated at this point that I poured it down the drain.
(I learned later that you actually have to let the flour cook before it thickens. Y'all: I was NOT KIDDING when I said I'm a newbie cook.)
---
Attempt #3
This was before I learned about letting the flour cook. I thought, "maybe I just need to really up the flour I add."
I was wrong.
---
Attempt #4
By this point, my friends had educated me a bit about needing to let the flour cook. A couple tablespoons of butter, equal flour, cup and a half of milk. Let it cook, then add some nutmeg, salt, and pepper to finish it off.
I finally made a serviceable bechamel! And so it's onto the problems with the sandwich.
I toasted whole grain bread in a top-loader toaster, added some mozzarella and ham to the already-toasted bread, put the oven on broil, poured the sauce, and added the sandwich.
There's a small problem and a big problem here:
Small problem: I should have assembled the untoasted sandwich and THEN toasted it - as a whole unit - on the stovetop rather than assuming the broiler would do the toasting.
Big problem: MY MAIN OVEN COMPARTMENT DIDN'T HAVE A ACTUAL BROILER. I accidentally just baked the sandwich at like 500 degrees.
Added the fried egg on top, but it was a gross mess. I was so flustered at that point that I even overcooked the egg. Only later did I learn that my oven had a bottom slot where the broiler ACTUALLY existed.
Been in my apartment with this oven for 10 years, and never checked that bottom section.
---
Attempt #5
Lots of trial, lots of error, and I'm finally ready to get my Ignis on. Rewatched the videos, assembled a combined recipe that seemed reasonable, and started.
Ingredients:
- 4 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespoons flour
- some sliced ham
- 2 slices whole grain bread
- 1 egg
- 1 1/3 cups milk.
- nutmeg, salt, pepper
1. Melt two tablespoons of butter, followed by two tablespoons of flour.
2. Whisk together, and cook for one minute.
3. Slowly stream in 1 1/3 C milk.
4. Whisk constantly for another 1-2 minutes, and remove from heat when it's creamy. I tried this, but it was still basically milk after 1-2 minutes. I let it cook for another 6-7 minutes, whisking frequently.
5. Whisk in some salt, pepper, and nutmeg.
6. Assemble the sandwich with ham and cheese inside. This should've been done before I started cooking as mise en place.
7. Melt 1T butter in a pan. Didn't need this much butter. 1-2 teaspoons next time.
8. On low-medium heat, toast the sandwich, flipping after a bit.
9. When the sandwich is golden brown on both sides, transfer it to a broiler pan and pour bechamel to cover it.
10. Add some more cheese on top of the bechamel. Babish didn't do this, but Munchies did. It was a GREAT idea. Definitely keep this.
11. Place sandwich in broiler for about 2-3 minutes, until the cheese on top gets good color and melt.
12. Melt 1T butter in a pan and then add the egg when it's hot. Again, didn't need this much butter for a single egg. 1-2 teaspoons next time.
13. After removing the sandwich from the broiler, add the egg.
Success at long, long, long last.
Results
FINALLY. A good sandwich. Really good. More work than it's worth, but I have a feeling that now that the major screw-ups are out of the way, it'll be way faster on my next cook.
Cross-section of the finished product.
What about y'all? Have you tried this sort of thing before? Any kindly-given tips and suggestions are welcome, and I'd love to hear people's experiences with cooking even aside from tips.
Oh, and one more lesson: there's someone out there who actually gives XV-accurate recipes!
Looks like a great video. Wish I'd seen it before I made this, but I'll keep an eye on their channel for recipes going forward.
