FF Cooking - Part 2: Croque Madame

Summary: Trying what seemed like a simple recipe. but highlighted how little I know about cooking. Many failures, one success.

Welcome to Ignis's croque madame! (Feel free to scroll to the bottom if you just want the recipe that worked.)


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I never heard of this before seeing it in-game. Apparently, it's like a French grilled cheese with ham and bechamel. This was a  learning experience.

• I'd never heard the words "roux" or "bechamel" before in my life.
• I've only cooked with flour once, years ago. A cookie recipe.
• I'd never broiled anything before. Didn't even know if I had a broiler.

But whatever! Every recipe I found online said a croque madame was super easy. How hard could it be for this newbie cook?

As with the chili con carne, my goal wasn't a reproduction of what's in-game, but rather making something sort of similar, but easy as possible. The three main sources I drew upon:

• Binging with Babish, Croque Madame 
• Binging with Babish, Sopranos food (explains a bechamel in more detail at 8:12)
• Munchies

Each resource I checked gave a slightly different recipe, so I just kind of mixed and matched with what looked most doable.



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Attempt #1

If you can even call this an attempt. I stalled out on the roux. For some reason, I assumed roux were supposed to, like, coat the bottom of the pan. I couldn't figure out why I was screwing up, so I just threw this (actually reasonable) roux away.





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Attempt #2

This is even more embarrassing. I remade the roux - equal parts butter and flour, whisked and heated for a bit - then poured in the milk. Stirred it a bit.

And nothing happened. Oh god, what am I doing wrong now? IT'S JUST LIQUID STILL, NOT SAUCE!




So... I didn't know how flour worked. I thought it would be like instant mashed potatoes, where you pour the flakes into the hot milk, stir it a few times, and it turns into fluffy mashed potatoes. I got so frustrated at this point that I poured it down the drain.

(I learned later that you actually have to let the flour cook before it thickens. Y'all: I was NOT KIDDING when I said I'm a newbie cook.)

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Attempt #3

This was before I learned about letting the flour cook. I thought, "maybe I just need to really up the flour I add."



I was wrong.

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Attempt #4

By this point, my friends had educated me a bit about needing to let the flour cook. A couple tablespoons of butter, equal flour, cup and a half of milk. Let it cook, then add some nutmeg, salt, and pepper to finish it off. 



I finally made a serviceable bechamel! And so it's onto the problems with the sandwich.

I toasted whole grain bread in a top-loader toaster, added some mozzarella and ham to the already-toasted bread, put the oven on broil, poured the sauce, and added the sandwich.

There's a small problem and a big problem here:

Small problem: I should have assembled the untoasted sandwich and THEN toasted it - as a whole unit - on the stovetop rather than assuming the broiler would do the toasting.

Big problem: MY MAIN OVEN COMPARTMENT DIDN'T HAVE A ACTUAL BROILER. I accidentally just baked the sandwich at like 500 degrees.



Added the fried egg on top, but it was a gross mess. I was so flustered at that point that I even overcooked the egg. Only later did I learn that my oven had a bottom slot where the broiler ACTUALLY existed.

Been in my apartment with this oven for 10 years, and never checked that bottom section.
  
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Attempt #5 

Lots of trial, lots of error, and I'm finally ready to get my Ignis on. Rewatched the videos, assembled a combined recipe that seemed reasonable, and started.


Ingredients:

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• some sliced ham
• 2 slices whole grain bread
• 1 egg 
• 1 1/3 cups milk.
• nutmeg, salt, pepper

Steps:


1. Melt two tablespoons of butter, followed by two tablespoons of flour.

2. Whisk together, and cook for one minute.

3. Slowly stream in 1 1/3 C milk.

4. Whisk constantly for another 1-2 minutes, and remove from heat when it's creamy. I tried this, but it was still basically milk after 1-2 minutes. I let it cook for another 6-7 minutes, whisking frequently.


5. Whisk in some salt, pepper, and nutmeg.


6. Assemble the sandwich with ham and cheese inside. This should've been done before I started cooking as mise en place.

7. Melt 1T butter in a pan. Didn't need this much butter.  1-2 teaspoons next time.

8. On low-medium heat, toast the sandwich, flipping after a bit.

9. When the sandwich is golden brown on both sides, transfer it to a broiler pan and pour bechamel to cover it.

10. Add some more cheese on top of the bechamel. Babish didn't do this, but Munchies did. It was a GREAT idea. Definitely keep this.

11. Place sandwich in broiler for about 2-3 minutes, until the cheese on top gets good color and melt.

12. Melt 1T butter in a pan and then add the egg when it's hot. Again, didn't need this much butter for a single egg. 1-2 teaspoons next time.

13. After removing the sandwich from the broiler, add the egg.


Success at long, long, long last.



Results

FINALLY. A good sandwich. Really good. More work than it's worth, but I have a feeling that now that the major screw-ups are out of the way, it'll be way faster on my next cook.




Cross-section of the finished product.

What about y'all? Have you tried this sort of thing before? Any kindly-given tips and suggestions are welcome, and I'd love to hear people's experiences with cooking even aside from tips.

Oh, and one more lesson: there's someone out there who actually gives XV-accurate recipes!

Looks like a great video. Wish I'd seen it before I made this, but I'll keep an eye on their channel for recipes going forward.