"When there’s no one else in sight,
In the crowded lonely night,
Well I wait for so long with my love vibration
And I’m dancing with myself.”
---
Heroic Reprise
-Fray begins guiding me through another ritual meditation, when some dude I helped like 40 levels ago recognizes me. He needs more help. The Amal’jaa kidnapped some pilgrims. Again.
-Fray is PISSED. Am I really going to just charge off to rescue some randos from a heavily armed camp?
FRAY: “But that’s what we do, isn’t it? Every godsdamned time. Fine. We’ll bring them back.” Interesting. Dark Knights see themselves as heroes only to a point.
-I save the pilgrims, with Fray grumbling the whole time even as they help.
-We continue the meditation. I sink into this mental abyss… and I hear that voice again.
???: “On a throne of bone she waits. Serve… save… slave… slay… They come to entreat her judgment.
Serve… save… slave… slay… one by one, in solemn procession…”
My rescue mission could be seen in this light. I “serve” others, “save.” I’m even a “slave” to others given how quickly I do as they ask. And what do I do to save? “Slay.”
I think the voice is describing someone who went down a similar path to me and maaaaybe took a wrong turn at the end. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the first dark knight speaking.
-I snap back awake and relate my experience to Fray.
-They acknowledge my growing affinity with the dark side (whatever that is), but that I’m no true dark knight yet. Dark knights acknowledge that they can’t save everyone. They don’t do crap like this, saving random pilgrims from armies of Amal’jaa.
FRAY: “Sacrifice, Ququshu, is to renounce that which binds you. To recognize that which matters – and forsake all that does not.”
Fray seems tired. Maybe they gave up on this. I wonder if my actions guilt-trip them.
---
Declaration of Blood
“I’m beginning to question your commitment, Ququshu.” I haven’t heard that voice in a while and Fray thinks it’s because I’m too self-sacrificey. Haven’t committed to her lessons.
-Fray leads me to the oceanside. She reminisces about a time she and her friend came here and barely escaping from “some foolish endeavor.” I’ll bet her friend tried some heroic action and nearly got killed, and now Fray doesn’t want me doing the same thing.
-And yet AGAIN, some random dude nearby wants my help. Qiqirin bandits stole from him. This job storyline is like a chain of minor side quests.
-He asks me for my help. Fray’s furious at all this nonsense. Like, Qiqirin bandits? REALLY??
I have a choice whether to take the job.
Normally I’d help, but I want to at least try listening to my dark knight teacher. I decline the job.
-Still, he assures me and Fray that the Qiqirin will present a challenge. Fray grudgingly agrees to help in this case.
Okay, here’s my current theory: I think the voice I’ve been hearing is Fray’s now-dead friend. And if I somehow push past the boundaries she talks about and commune with the darkness, that friend’s spirit will possess me and Fray gets her friend back. [Later edit: I wasn’t 100% wrong?]
-We take out the big Qiqirin and swarm of little guys.
-I return the goods. Unfortunately, our fight drenched them in Qiqirn blood. He demands we pay him 50% of their worth.
I think the fuck not. Neither does Fray.
”You spineless sack of shite. I kill your enemies. I fetch your things. I do what you people can’t or won’t do yourselves. You’re helpless. Weak. All you do is want and need.”
She sounds like she’s had lots of experience with ungrateful folks.
-She leaves in a rage, and I follow. Time to continue with our meditative exercises. She guides me back into that trance state.
???: “A chorus of voices cries out for a hero, and she comes. She smiles. She nods. And she remains silent. But she too has a voice… I will be heard.”
-Fray wakes me. I’m close to discovering what she wants me to discover.
FRAY: “Cast yourself into the abyss, and you shall soar above, free at last.” She wants me to flee with her for other lands.
I feel so bad for Fray. She strikes me as someone who just wants some appreciation, who wants to feel like what she’s done has value and deserves recognition. She wants me to renounce everything and join her.
---
Our Answer
-Fray’s ready to leave Ishgard. Go somewhere new, somewhere warm. She also seems strangely dizzy? She runs off and I try to follow.
-I go search for her, when EVEN MORE randos come up and ask me to solve their problems. Some giants have raided caravans nearby. Won’t I please help? Won’t I help? Please please pleeeeease?
Fray watches this exchange from afar. “No. No more. Enough.”
-I go take out the giants easily and the knights thank me. They admire how willing I am to risk my life to just to help out for random strangers.
-Word arrives from an Ishgardian that Lord Drillemont wants to bring me in for questioning. I was seen talking to a corpse. Oh right, they thought Fray was dead when this questline started!
-I arrive at the fort, and Fray has KILLED EVERYONE HERE HOLY SHIT. Or at least knocked them out.
She tells me to confront the truth. Her eyes glow orange.
“Say my name. Say it. My real name. Our real name! Come now, you knew Fray was dead from the beginning, but you didn’t care!”
New theory time, one I think might actually be right: I think that when I took the dark knight crystal, my soul split and inhabited “Fray’s” corpse. The part of my soul that’s frustrated with everything asked of me. That part of my soul, joined with the dark knight crystal, became my mentor.
-Fray’s body collapses… and out walks the spirit of Ququshu Qushu herself. Myself.
THIS IS THE COOLEST FUCKING THIS EVER HFDJKLSHFLFDSL
Plus, it mirrors FFIV where Cecil fought his dark knight self to become a paladin.
-THE FIGHT AGAINST MYSELF IS AMAZING.
Not only do I fight Ququshu – known in the fight as “Esteem” – but I also fight against embodiments of her – excuse me, my – despair and anguish.
-I win the fight. The spirit still feels victorious, having showcased this part of myself I wasn’t aware of.
But then the knights I’ve been helping chirp in. They give me their thanks, their support. They have my back. They’re not ungrateful. (Not right now, anyway.)
-My dark knight version is unimpressed. “Fine. Convince yourselves she can be controlled. The Warrior of Light! Our Weapon of Light! It isn’t too late, Ququshu. We… we can still be free.”
It’s hard to blame her for thinking this way.
-I approach her. I reach out my hand, I think to reabsorb her.
DARK!QUQUSHU: “Listen to my voice. Listen to our heartbeat. Listen…”
-One last meditative trance. This time it’s not audio-only. I see both me and the dark knight spirit. Back to back.
DK QUQUSHU: “We know that when you tire of this charade, I shall be here. Waiting to take the reins. You need only ask.”
-She disappears. Or at least recedes back into me.
-The knights agree to look past what just happened and give that corpse a full burial.
---
Wrap-Up
This was far and away the best job-specific storyline in the game so far. And it did something incredibly difficult in an MMO, especially one lacking the sort of moral choices you see in “Star Wars: The Old Republic”: it made my character interesting.
I have various headcanons about Ququshu Qushu. I see her as kind of a jolly asshole. She does good and life-saving work while condescending to those around her, and takes joy in giving nastiness when she can get away with it.
But that’s all headcanon. In actual canon, she’s been a generic good guy. About as bland as Crono in “Chrono Trigger.”
This job quest takes everything she’s gone through and turned it into something that almost akin to Zidane’s arc in FFIX. He’s an aid and comfort to those around him. It makes him a beloved hero while building a well of resentment and rage that erupts. Same with Ququshu.
It would have fit in with any character. It fits in doubly with Ququshu. I adore how the game takes the typical MMO gameplay of quest after quest after quest and examines the emotional impact. Everyone just CONSTANTLY asking Ququshu for help.
I’ve looked back at some of the mysteries from the questline. It’s so wonderful how they use specific moments from Ququshu’s life. Like, that part where Fray remembers her friend doing something foolish on the ocean? That was where Ququshu set sail to fight Leviathan.
That “darkness” is the core of the dark knight. Not murderousness, not evil, but resentment, anger, and the desire to just get away from it all and be free.
I also like the ending. I don’t kill that part of Ququshu. I subdue her and take her back into myself. She’s still there beneath the surface.
---
”I’ve looked all over the world
And there’s every type of girl,
But your empty eyes seem to pass me by
And leave me dancing with myself.”
Next time: Back to the main storyline.
