Summary: A brief introduction to a new series. My attempt to find balance and pleasure in things like food and movement.
TW: self-hate around food
It's been a long time since I found legitimate joy in physical things. Food, exercise, movement, dance, strength, speed. I alternate frequently between two extremes:
1) Obsessing over minor bits of hunger and denial and pain. This often feels satisfying the next day when I think "I was HEALTHY YAY" while being unsustainable due to how much I hate the thing itself.
2) Ignoring anything physical and indulging every short-term whim. Never cooking, moving as little as possible, eating junk food and feeling shitty about myself. Promising that I'll change it all tomorrow.
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god do both of these suck. let's try something new.
