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Hollow Seclusion - ???
-When I logged back in for this session in Historia Crux, I expected to be presented with “New Bodhum - ??? AF.” Nope. It’s called “Hollow Seclusion.”
This cements my belief that this New Bodhum is just a fantasy meant to keep Serah trapped, alone, and happy with it. Like the djinn in that great “Supernatural” episode.
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New Bodhum – 00X AF
-…or never mind? Is this actually an alternate reality version of New Bodhum as it was in 003 AF?
-Mog is still phased out. Lebreau is all chill, casual. This is eerie af.
-I try leaving town. No luck. “A strange power blocks your path.”
-The townsfolk never heard of a meteorite or moogles. They act like she dreamed it all up.
-This sort of “just relax, it’s all real!” seduction is one of my favorite tropes from way back in “The Silver Chair” by C.S. Lewis. The main villain there nearly convinced the protagonists that her underground kingdom was the only world, and the world they came from was nothing more than a dream.
-I head into Serah’s house. Just as I expected, Snow’s here. They’re married, living with Lightning.
-One of my favorite ideas from the Matrix series is that the utopia the machines first made failed because the human mild rebelled against unchallenged bliss. I remember that here as Serah panics.
-Okay this is now getting even more overtly weird. Everyone starts to disappear and fade.
“Am I really trapped? Am I really alone? Lightning, please help me!”
-This is INCREDIBLY well done. Like a Twilight Zone episode.
-There’s Lightning on the docks.
SERAH: “Why are you here?”
LIGHTNING: “Because you want me to be. In this place, you can see all your heart’s desires come true.”
[Later edit: I keep going back and forth whether the others here are real people in an alternate timeline or just illusions created to trap Serah. This line makes me think it’s the latter.]
GOD THIS IS SO CREEPY
-Serah even starts to give in. To walk towards Lightning’s outstretched hand. She WANTS to believe this is true… but she can’t.
“If I accepted it, my journey through time would end. But… my sister was here! Snow was here! If I stayed, I would be with everyone I ever loved. This is what I’d been searching for, all this time. I’d found my home. I’d found happiness.”
THIS IS HEARTBREAKING DFJHSFLKDSHFKDLS
-And then, the live trigger to end all live triggers.
“Lightning is showing me a world of hope. Should I quit the journey and stay with her?” Two options. Yes or no.
Look, I know that “No” is the right answer. 100%. But I also know the truth is never so easy. If you’re given the option of a perfect paradise – one SO PERFECT that it has flaws and makes you really believe the illusion – do you say no?
When I was younger, I’d say, “NO! Go for the truth. No matter what.” I’m no longer so sure. I’m not in a great place in my life.
I choose to stay.
I want to see what happens. What would it be like to just give into the illusion of happiness? The illusion of real relationships? A facsimile of joy? What does it feel like? I need to see.
-Serah takes Lightning’s hand. They walk back to the village together.
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Paradox Ending: Fate and Freedom
LOLOL THEY GIVE ME A FULL ALTERNATE ENDING!
-The peaceful FFXIII theme is playing. Serah’s uncertainty is gone. She’s starting to feel real happiness.
“Now every day is paradise. Lightning is here with me, and Snow as well. Lebreau and Yuj, Gadot and Maqui. The whole gang. Sometimes Sazh and his son even come to visit.” HI SAZH!
“And guess what? Hope had some great news for us. He was pretty sure they might be able to save Fang and Vanille from the pillar.” A rich, full life.
“I’m content. I like my life the way it is. There’s only one thing that keeps it from being perfect.”
I’m pausing it right now to type, but I’ve never wanted to see what the next sentence is more than right now, throughout this entire FF series playthrough.
“I can’t remember a certain person. I know he was a friend. And I’m sure we were close. But no matter how I try, I can’t recall his face or his name, or even how his voice sounded.”
We see a shadowy, phantom Noel standing feet away from her, but out of her sight.
jesus jesus jesus
“It’s so strange. Who could he be?”
“In my room, I have a mirror. I never use it. It scares me. On the other side of that mirror, there’s a whole other world. And if I peek inside, I’ll be lost.”
Or she might break this whole illusion without any way to repair what she’s lost.
“This is where I’ll stay. I’m home. And I never want to leave.”
A beautifully hollow prison.
-Fragment discovered. It, too, tells a heartbreaking anecdote. Dajh asked Serah one day if moogles could talk.
SERAH: “Of course they can. They know lots of things, and love answering just about any question you might have.”
SAZH: “Hohoho. Since when did you become a moogle expert?”
Serah can’t pin the answer down. “I tell him it’s nothing. But it isn’t nothing, and for the rest of the day, my head is full of thoughts of moogles…”
That’s the cost. The real lives erased from her mind. Real relationships that never happened for her.
All this paradise has a cloud cast over it. An itch that keeps nagging at her. It’s not pure. It’s tainted and wrong, and she feels it constantly. Jesus.
The paradox ending stops here, but I can imagine how this goes. She’ll maintain this hollow fantasy until the day she dies alone with her imagination. If fate is kind, she won’t even know how empty her life has been. She won’t get any conscious inkling of what could have been.
Except for that nagging itch.
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This was easily my favorite part of the game, and up there in the long list of favorites I have from across the series. Spooky and emotional and eerie and challenging and painful. It hits me in a way that few FF sections have.
I felt it when Celes struggled on the cliffside in FFVI. I felt it when Zidane trudged through Pandemonium.
It’s really something, to see your deepest fear and failures on the screen. It’s a stab and a gift.
It shocks you, mocks you, and shows you a way out.
[Later edit: I won’t go into too much personal history or details, except to say that since this session, I’ve reached out to my brother and sister for the first time in a while, made concrete plans to visit home, and signed up for a local board game meet-up.
No illusions anymore. This sort of art can spark a new beginning, but that’s about it. Going from there is hard work.]
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Next time: Telling Lightning no.
