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Way of the Pugilist
-Eventually I’ll turn into a monk. For now, the guild starts as a fighting guild. Hand-to-hand.
-The guild started out with just a chaotic mass of styles. Sounds like UFC 1. Eventually, an Eorzean Royce Gracie rose, making it her life’s mission to master every form she encountered.
-She’s most remembered for her performance in a gladiator tournament. Bare-handed, she took on fully armored gladiators and won.
-Her name was Cornelia. Love the reference to the FFI starting city!
-The trainer used to be known as Hamon the Holyfist. He’s a retired fighter.
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My First Hora
-Hamon wants me to practice my pugilism with a fist weapon he calls a hora.
Starting out.
I hadn’t heard of it before, but Google tells me it’s a real thing. An Indian fist weapon.
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Harder than Rock
-My next test is to run around town picking up stray pieces of gil. (Hamon says it’s a test, but I’m pretty sure the guild is just short on cash.)
-After that, a more standard trial of punching some rocks.
-I like Hamon. He’s the kind of guy who speaks in all caps at times.
Hamooon HOLYFIIIST!
-I also meet an adorable Lalafell named Chuchuto, Hamon’s right-hand.
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Burning Up the Quarter Malm
-It’s hard for me to tell whether Master Hamon is a blowhard or whether he used to legitimately be a legend. I get the sense it’s probably closer to legend.
-Chuchuto’s feeling down. Her friend (Rurukuta) disappeared recently. Smells like a main 1-30 quest.
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The Spirit is Willing
-My next test is punching some big frogs. Though as with previous quests, this turns out to be kind of selfish – he just wants some frog legs for food. XD
-I think it’s gonna be another throwaway quest, but no. Adventure finds us! Or duty or something. We learn of drug smugglers linked to a local criminal group, the Alacran.
Rurukuta is one of the smugglers.
-We fight them off, but when Master Holyfist’s time comes to throw down, he can’t.
Hamon is knocked down.
…Seriously?
That’s why Rurukuta went Bad Guy? Cause he found out that Holyfist
can’t fight as an old man? Like, Holyfist should have been up front
about that, but in fighting circles it’s not weird at all for someone
old to be a respected trainer or elder figure after their skill goes.
-When
we get back to the guild, I actually like that NONE of the current
fighters feel betrayed. They just want to find a way to cheer up Hamon
Holyfist and make him not feel bad about himself.
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Keeping the Spirit Alive
-Hamon is down. Doesn’t feel he’s worthy of training anyone.
-Chuchuto suggests that I train just as Hamon did in his time. That might spark his spirit.
-BUT APPARENTLY HIS OLD TRAINING METHOD WAS TO PUNCH SOME HORNETS?? That sounds awful.
-At least it works. The sight of all the stingers I gathered rejuvenates him with his memory of his own growth arc. We fight.
Not just once. Not just twice. Three rounds! He gets knocked down and gets up again.
I
still think this is unnecessary. Again, old fight trainers are
absolutely a thing, and nobody expects even the most legendary to still
be competitive past middle age, let alone old age. This is why the
George Foreman heavyweight title win at 45 years old is still so
legendary.
I still get chills at the announcer’s call with Foreman’s knockout.
-Some asshole named Weggfarr Wideaxe busts in though, leader of the rival gang. He lost to Hamon long ago in the arena, and now the battle rekindles.
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Star-crossed Rivals
-Before the training, Rurukuta comes to take me on. Not out of hatred, but rather because he doesn’t think I’m worthy to train Hamon.
I like this. Rurukuta is so overwhelmingly driven by respect for the man. Sure, he was opportunistic to join with Weggfarr’s gang, but even now he’s trying to protect Hamon.
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Return of the Holyfist
-The core challenge here is a sparring match against Hamon directly. It’s a pretty easy fight, but it’s easy for me to separate mechanics from story. In my head, this was a challenging battle that helped him get his groove back.
-Fight time! Holyfist vs. Weggfarr in the streets of Ul’dah.
-OKAY THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME. Holyfist did some super-rush to knock Weggfarr out. And when he connected, the camera briefly flashed on Holyfist’s face to show his younger self.
-So a victory fair and square for Holyfist, but Weggfarr is a jackwagon and a sore loser. He summons his crew to fight us now.
Punchy Avengers, assemble!
This is the last straw for Rurukata. Welcome back to Team Pugilist, friend. Needless to say, we beat the crap out of Weggfarr’s gang, restoring Hamon’s reputation.
A pretty fun story all-in-all! It’s just so bizarre to see the a fighting world where the trainer is useless unless he HIMSELF can fight, but c’est la vie.
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The Great Horn Heist [Make It Rain 2021]
-This is the Gold Saucer seasonal event. I don’t often do it since I’m not too focused on MGP, but let’s try it!
-Someone
robbed the Saucer of a sabotender mount! One of the questgiver’s
friends, a dude named Hugue, is implicated, so I’m tasked to clear his
name.
Roland, the most styling casino official shy of Godbert.
-The
actual quest itself is a mix of cool and frustrating. It’s one of those
where you have to explore the casino yourself, without quest markers to
guide you, and use clues you get to find more quest nodes.
The
puzzle element is cool. Less cool is trying to find the right things to
interact with in such a busy place. After an hour of searching, I
needed to look up a guide to find the final two people.
-I like
the final trial conversation. It’s all about uncovering a plot between
two twin brothers using some identity swapperoo shenanigans to get money
for another sibling.
Phoenix Wright, Eorzean Attorney.
-I’ve
been thinking recently about something Asmongold brought up: how often
the response to crimes is mercy and atonement, not retribution. It comes
up here again too. Godbert swoops down to offer understanding and
community service for the thieves.
-But the very best part of
this event is the reward. I get a /vexed emote where Ququshu looks
annoyed and gets a Charlie Brown-style grumpy thought cloud that was
used in the quest. XD
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Next time: Probably Dark Knight 60-80.
