Submarine
-We can head into the Bridge or down below. I’ll start with the bridge.
-LOL – the captain starts freaking out that he’s about to die. I love that Shinra dudes in this game aren’t all, “Oh, you pathetic insect? Begone! I’ll squash you!” They’re like, “FUCK! These guys run through my colleagues like a hot knife through butter. I’m about to die.”
-This is amazing.
And when they start doing their victory dance as a dying wish, it’s the one that Undercover!Cloud taught them, spinning their weapons.
-We get the chance to kill them or take them prisoner. After that last dialogue, there’s no way in hell I’m killing them. May you live to dance the dance of victory for a hundred years.
-Cloud seems claustrophobic down here, and who can blame him? Submarines are scary business. Oh – not claustrophobic, but motion sick.
-…really. Another mini-game. Grr.
-Let’s try this. I have to sink the lead submarine with the Huge Materia.
-Success! That actually felt more intuitive and less clunky than some prior mini-games. (I’m looking hard at you, snowboarding and military parade.)
-Ok, so this Huge Materia is at the bottom of the sea now, and we hear on the radio the rest are at Junon Airport being transported. Time to intercept!
-This is really cool. We have our own submarine now!
-OH GOD WHAT’D I DO
-SHIT SHIT SHIT
Run, Cloud! (Spoiler alert: Cloud did not run fast enough.)
-Started to explore down below the sea and ran into a large something swimming down below. Turns out it was Emerald Weapon, and it one shot my party members one by one.
-Ok, back. Took out the red submarine in like 30 seconds, so that was quick. This time, how about I don’t go say hello to the underwater Weapon?
-I was too freaked out to pay attention to exactly what killed me, but it did single target zaps on each party member for over 6,000 health. Emerald Shot or something. Each party members has like 2500-3500 health. That’s overwhelmingly bad.
-There was also a timer, 20:00 on the fight. So I expect it’d be a war of attrition. Hell, it could be a super boss for all I know given the raw amount of damage it threw at me. And because it wasn’t fire or ice damage or something, I kind of doubt there’s an amulet that’ll absorb it.
-Actually… maybe a Reflect Rings can work? Hell, maybe those blasts count as fire damage, but I’d bet they’re “non-elemental” the way Bahamut’s blasts are. Something to try later. For now, airport.
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Junon Airport
-The awesomely designed plane carrying the Huge Materia takes off just as we arrive.
Beautiful camo on the Gelinka.
We’ll head to Rocket Town to catch up to it.
-Found a neat monster in a random airport encounter. It’s like a giant revolver that spins and fixates on a random party member, retaliating each attack with missiles at that party member.
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Goblin Island
-Started looking for Rocket Town. On my way east around the world from east continent to west, I flew near an island I hadn’t explored and decided to check it out.
-Came across “Mystery Ninja” in the woods.
I was hoping for Cactuars (though they’d probably be in a desert) or goblins, but Mystery Ninja will do.
-I beat her, but that’s not the end of it. A mini zone appears, with a save point.
-Wait, wtf? I walked over to the save point and she got up and stole 200 gil from us! Get back here!
-Found her again after some more wandering the forest on the island. Not getting fooled by the tantalizing save point this time.
-LOL – she rips on the “spiky-headed jerk” for getting her and wants to fight again.
-I LOVE the music here! It’s so light and jaunty.
-AH DAMMIT, AGAIN
-While I was getting ready to fight her again, she stole more money and waled away! Next time I see her, not going use the “save point” or take her up on the offer to fight.
-Got her again, and went through all the steps as before. But then she tried to leave. We had the choice to stop her or say, “go ahead if that’s what you want.” I went with the latter and she left.
-Fourth time’s the charm I hope. Got her again. (Is she blind btw, or is that just her eye color?)
-HAHAHHA YESSSS WE GET A NEW PARTY MEMBER
Yuffie.
-Wait, she left? No, come back! She keeps stealing my gil and leaving. I’m determined though, I really want to get the right outcome from this. She seems fun.
-Ok, a few encounters with her later, I got it. Got back to the point where I have the choice to ask her name or say, “let’s hurry.” This time, I opt for the latter. We start to walk away, and she chases after us, all, “Wait, you didn’t even ask me my name! (It’s Yuffie, btw!) Slow down!” LOLOL
I know I just met you, but you’re already the best. Such a cool intro to the character that gives us a real sense of her personality. Reminds me in a vague way of Toph.
-…Uh oh. Then she says her plan is now in motion. But she finishes that up with “Nyuk nyuk nyuk,” so she can’t be evil. Maybe it’s just to steal more gil from us.
YUFFIE: “Here, I’ll give you back the money I stole from you! …uh, what’s left of it.”
-Final note: one of the many aspects of this segment I love is that she used game mechanics to distract us. When Cloud stopped at a save point, she stole our money. When I went into the menu screen while near her, she stole our money. She waited not just until the party was distract, but until I, the player, was distracted. Brilliant.
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Next time: The plot says Rocket Town, but I have a new party member. She’s a ninja. If you don’t think I’m headed to Wutai ASAP to at least check if there’s Yuffie-related stuff there, you’ve got another thing coming.
