TW: Rape, sexual assault.
Wutai
-Kid in town says she still hasn’t seen anyone climbing Da-chao.
-No Yuffie sightings elsewhere in town either. Neither at the cat house, nor the grandfamily home, weapon shop, inn… Time to try the rich man’s house.
-Promising sign. The rich man is no longer asleep on his bed. He’s gone.
-I rang the big bell. I did a thing! It opened a door beneath the bell building.
-Yuffie’s in here, being held captive by some dude.
-“Hohi, hohi! Hohihi!” …wtf
-IT’S DON CORNEO. Of all the characters I had interest in seeing again, he wasn’t one of them.
-You better lay off Yuffie or I swear to god
-..And he’s kidnapping two “new chickies,” Elena and Yuffie. Really, game? I feel pretty confident either of them alone could kick his ass, and his henchman’s too. Can we please not feel the need to make the game “grittier” or whatever by threatening two of the female characters with sexual violence? Thx.
-Our chase pops us out inside the rich man’s house, at his shrine.
-OH SHIT IT JUST CLICKED – THAT’S who the Shinra soldiers heard was on vacation here. That’s who they were after. Not Cloud, but Don Corneo. Not sure why they’d want him.
-This is the first time all game I’ve said this sentence, but here goes: “Thank goodness the Shinra soldiers arrived.”
-Hm. Don Corneo steps out of the way and they attack our party. Not sure why – I thought they wanted the Don.
-Reno and Rude found out about Elena’s kidnapping and are in pursuit as well. We come to a non-aggression pact with them. Corneo fled up Da-chao. Not sure why, though – it’s a dead end, unless he’s planning a dramatic helicopter rescue.
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Da-chao
-So weird to not have materia in fights.
-Found them. Yuffie and Elena are tied to a rock face.
-I can’t bring myself to transcribe this dialogue. Suffice it to say that Don Corneo is as awful as ever.
Got that right, Yuffie.
He’s not “hilariously lascivious.” He’s not “humorously saucy.” He’s threatening rape, and it feels like the game’s trying to get me to laugh at his wacky antics at least a little bit.
CORNEO: “You have no idea how I’ve suffered since [Midgar]. It’s a long story…”
There are few things I care less about than hearing Corneo’s sob story.
-LOL – thank you, Cloud. The music starts to get sad as Corneo’s about to tell his story, then Cloud basically says “HOLY CRAP SHUT UP DUDE IDC.”
-He’s pissed that was killed Aps, his sewer beast. Now he brought Rapps.
Rapps.
-Pretty cool looking fight, but I get the sense that we dramatically outleveled this whole quest so it’s over in a few rounds of attacks.
-We have Corneo trapped, but he gives us a series of choices why he’d let himself get cornered. He apparently thinks he’s won, and remotely flips Elena and Yuffie upside down, threatening to let them fall from the mountainside.
-RENO TO THE RESCUE!! YES! (Yet another thing I never thought I’d say in this game.)
-Corneo leaked some secret that Shinra’s after him for? Not sure what the secret is.
-Corneo’s about to let them fall, but Rude comes in and throws a dagger or something at Corneo. Please let it kill him. A lot.
-HAHAHAH BLESS YOU RENO. He gives Corneo the same ridiculous choices he gave us.
-Reno killed him. Dumped him off the mountain. Good.
RENO: “The correct answer was… because it’s our job.” I’m reasonably sure he put sunglasses on during the ellipsis.
-lol – at that very moment, Shinra calls Reno and tell him to find Cloud. He turns to look at the party, and the party goes on guard.
-!!!!!!!!!!
-Rude asks whether they should attack, but Reno just says, “No. It’s our day off.” Stop making me like you, creepy kidnappers!
-hahaha – Yuffie’s just like, “Quit your dramatic one-liners and shit and help us get down!”
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Wutai
-Back at Yuffie’s house. She gives us back the materia. (LOL, in the wrong order and to the wrong people.)
-She apologizes for stealing our stuff (sorta), then says she’s coming with us.
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Next time: Finishing up in Wutai. Going to try that temple that needs someone from Wutai to enter.
