Monday, March 16, 2015

FFVII – Part 26: Feline of Fortune

Summary: The Golden Saucer! Easily the most garish zone in the history of the series. I can’t play many of the games yet due to being nearly broke, but really cool place to visit. We get a fortune-telling kitty to join us despite some rather grim prophesying, and get framed for someone else massacring Shinra soldiers. Calling it now: no way it was Barret.


Golden Saucer



-There’s a save point but I can’t access it since I have 0 GP. I guess that’s a casino-won currency.

-It costs 3,000 GIL TO ENTER? …Fine. I only have 4,000, but I want to at least see what’s inside.

-Aeris is psyched to check it out, but Barret’s still pissed. He has a point. If this weren’t a video game, I’d be pissed too. Sephiroth’s on the move, and we’re at the casino? But ok.

-It seems I can only go with one other character. I pick Tifa.

-So many games and shit here. The info board says I can get GP at Wonder Square, so there I go.

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Wonder Square

-A dude on a weird cross between a moogle and cow saunters up to me, reading my fortune.

-….the fortune teller is playable? IT’S A KITTY!!

-THE Cait Sith? Cool. I think we saw him as an esper in FFVI iirc. Also a terrifying character in the Dresden Files.

-We ask him to tell us where Sephiroth is, but he spits out a generic horoscope-style fortune. LOLOL


Always listen to the wisdom of a cat with what looks like bat wings.

-I think the moogle-cow that Cait Sith is riding an actual fortune-telling machine, not a beast, but it’s hard to say. He keeps spitting out goofy fortunes. “Your lucky color is blue,” stuff like that.

-And then spits out a SUPER DARK FORTUNE: “What you pursue will be yours, but you will lose something dear.” Even Cait Sith seems surprised that we got this fortune, which he’s never seen before. I’ve got literal goosebumps, since I have no doubt this will come back to bite me in the ass down the line.

-YESS!!!!! He’s curious about what it means, and wants to join our party. Kitty!

-A vendor offers items for GP. Some are ordinary, but higher cost items include a “Golden Ticket” and a “?????.”

-I decide to start with a “Super Dunk” mini game for 200gil a pop. I sort of get the hang of it – it’s a basketball game – but by the time I do, I’m broke, with only 2 GP to show for it.

-Time to check out some of the other games before leaving.

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Other Games

-First up, Chocobo racing. Shinra soldiers are packed here.


Love the signage!

-Damn. This game is serious business. There’s odds, packages, trifectas… a lot to do here. But tickets cost gil, and I got 0.

-Music so good!

-We meet Dio, the owner, at the speed game. He’s a shirtless goofus, but mentions something about a Black materia that a kid asked him about. That “kid” had a black cape… and a tattoo on his hand that said “1.” Huh. Did Sephiroth have that tattoo?

-Onto the Shooting Coaster, whose instructions are better than most of FFVII’s.



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Battle Arena

-The music turns ominous. And a Shinra soldier falls down dead.

-Cloud heads further into the Arena, and it’s a massacre.



However, it’s not Sephiroth. The soldiers here were shot dead, and Cloud says Eliot… ahem, Sephiroth would never use a gun.

-!!#(@RY!)(FNH(!)HJF*)(!H&*(HFL

-A SURVIVOR SAYS “A MAN WITH A GUN ON HIS ARM” DID THIS

-Dio and some soldiers find us, and Cait Sith flees. They pursue, trap us, and toss us through a pit.


Dio leaves us on our own. Like a rainbow in the dark.

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Next time: Prison.