Wednesday, July 2, 2014

FFII - Part 5: Bill Cosby is Annoying

"Final Fantasy," right there with Dragon Warrior, is one of the real Founding Parents fantasy video games, and the early games I'm seeing so far are traditional adventures in many ways. I've traveled to ice caves, volcanos, jungles, ancient ruins, and castles in the sky. I fight with swords, magic, and courage.

The enemies that fell beneath my assault are a similarly traditional and fierce lot! Dragons! Evil knights! Wizards! Zombies!

And so which of these villains causes me the most hassle?

Giants? Dragons? Ghosts? Witches? Sea monsters? Demons? No. (Although Imp packs in the Mysidian Tower who kept casting "Confuse" on my party were no picnic.) What then?




Evil, creepy-eyed pudding. Not even kidding.

It's not even more generic "Blob" or "Slime." It's literal dessert that fights me. The names of these enemies are Yellow Jelly, Red Mousse, and Black Flan. They're frigging EVERYWHERE, and I have to constantly blow mana to kill them unless I get really lucky with a melee hit. They're not that hard, but definitely a new level of annoying.

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So I got the Black Mask, then the Crystal Rod from the Mysidian Cave, and got eaten by Leviathan. I have a deep-seated terror of massive things, especially massive SEA things. Monstro terrified me in "Pinocchio," Star Tropics terrified me when the whale ate me, the Kraken in the old "Clash of the Titans" gave me nightmares too. The cutscene here was great - we don't even see the monster, just the whirlpool, our descent, and the imagination does the rest.

Got the Dragoon companion, who did his Kenny-from-South-Park impression the rest of this session.

So escaped the leviathan, scaled the tower, and got Ultima. Bye, Minwu! You brave little soldier. You were too precious for this world. Tower was pretty epic in scale with enough variety to stay interesting.

Next time: off to Fynn to report in!