Not like those are all that helpful. Well, feeling gross is a physical reaction. I want to throw up and am nauseous. The shame is less helpful. I won't ignore it, but I won't dwell on it.
Shame tries to drive me astray, even now. It makes me want to "atone," to eat nothing for the next two days as penance. Penance to what? I didn't harm anyone else.
I don't think I'm a bad person, most of the time.
As with previous binges on this journey, or moments I went off my calorie limit, I'll try to rebalance. Get back to the middle. 2,400 calories a day, though I expect I may be less hungry over the next few days and eat less. If not, 2,400 is okay too.
N.B. I'm posting this at the start of the day to incentivize myself to get back on the calorie-count plan after a rough day and a half.
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I wrote that first section at the start of the day. Day's almost over now. Did better today. Same feeling as last week: whatever my weight ends up being tomorrow, whether 256.0 or 259.6 or anything in between, I know that thanks to today it's better than what it could have been. It sets me up for next week well.
A bad pair of days doesn't mean I have to throw anything away.
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Diet
- Frosted Flakes with whole milk. Orange juice. (490 cal)
- Leftover shrimp with lobster sauce. (1,100 cal. Total guess, but seems reasonable.)
- Tortilla chips. (200 cal)
- Small java chip frappuccino light. (150 cal)
- Microwave chicken margherita meal. (280 cal)
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Exercise
Walked 1.85 miles in 37:04.
Walked 1.81 miles in 36:07.
