It's cyclical. It's a pattern for me that's a constant struggle to break, this sense of not caring. The part of the pattern that came on aftewards, last night, was just as predictable:
"Maybe this isn't working. I'll never get this right." "I know! I'll make up for it. Tomorrow through Sunday, I'll eat 1,500 calories max. That'll undo yesterday."
I've been here before since I started this new attempt 39 days ago. The solution isn't extreme. I have to evaluate what happened, make small adjustments, and do better.
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Part of it was that I didn't drink water. Drank lots of diet/"zero" soda, which goes hand-in-hand with certain salty/sweet binges. Today, I'll mix in soda with a lot more water.
Part of it was that I haven't kept up on cleaning my home. My dishes are dirty and I can't prepare meals there. I'll spend 30 minutes cleaning my apartment when I get home today.
Part of it was not wanting to self-monitor. I'll enter food calories in this blog as I go today, back to the cap of 2,400. To ensure this for today, I'll post this entry early and fill it in as I go.
Moving on.
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Diet
- Sesame bagel with cream cheese and chocolate milk. (700 cal)
- Chipotle burrito bowl with white rice, small service of black beans, half steak/half shredded beef, salsa, cheese, guacamole. Bottled mocha frappuccino. (1,380 cal)
- Microwave chicken/pasta margherita meal. (280 cal)
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Exercise:
Two sets of knee push-ups (22 each) and planking (25 seconds each).
